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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29041005">Sunshine in your eyes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anxious_Muu/pseuds/Anxious_Muu'>Anxious_Muu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Cosmere - Brandon Sanderson, Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adolin is a dance and fashion major, Also Kaladin is a gay disaster, Alternate Universe - College/University, And Adolin is a bi disaster, Cafe AU, College AU, Kaladin is a medstudent, M/M, Renarin and Kaladin roommates, college sweethearts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:46:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>21,284</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29041005</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anxious_Muu/pseuds/Anxious_Muu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kadolin college AU. </p><p>Kaladin is a new medstudent, trying to keep up with college life. He thinks he's okay by himself, just him and his darkness to battle with. Then comes Adolin, possibly the most adorable person Kaladin had met. With his curly hair and crop tops and warm smiles, Kaladin's world is flipped upside down.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kaladin/Adolin Kholin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Serendipity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaladin took a sip of his mocha latte, eyes never once leaving the computer screen. The lecture he was watching was a bit boring, but so were all med school lectures. He scribbled a few notes on his notebook, knew he would have to come back to these soon. </p><p>He had just started the semester, barely a week in, and there was already so much to cover. He’d have to get used to the pace of things, but to deny the stress he was feeling would be lying to himself.  </p><p>Thinking of the dorms on top of all of this hurt his brain. It was chaotic to say the least. He liked his roommate, and their floor wasn’t so bad, just… too loud. Food was basically an after-thought with so much going on.  </p><p>That’s why he took a liking to this café. It was slightly far from the university’s campus, one would think it would be buzzing with people and conversation. Only it was full, but not noisy. A factor could be thanks to it being on the opposite side of where the bars frequented by students were.  </p><p>It was also small, perfect for people who liked to wake up early and claim all seats to actually study and work.  </p><p><em> And  </em>the mocha latte was basically perfect. That was a small thing Kaladin was thankful for.  </p><p>For the next hour, he tuned out on the lecture playing on his laptop, completely enticed and taking notes whenever he deemed important. He didn’t pay attention to his surroundings, not even when a person he should recognize appeared in his sight.  </p><p>He blinked, looking up, taking off his headphones.  </p><p>“Sorry, Renarin?” He asked, voice coming out rough. He just realized how rough his throat was.  </p><p>Renarin stuttered, looking apologetic. His roommate was unlike many people Kaladin knew, but not in a bad way. Renarin was awkward around people, always deep in his mind, but he was a good kid. They were the same age, yet Kaladin felt protective towards him, the need to look out for him just present.  </p><p>“Um, sorry,” Renarin rubbed the back of his neck. “Didn’t mean to bother you, Kaladin. The seats are... full.” He paused, then added for better measure, but Kaladin had already understood. “We would like to sit with you, if that’s okay.”  </p><p>“Sure.” Kaladin nodded, making room for Renarin and... wait, we?  </p><p>Kaladin focused behind Renarin, squinting at the guy. He was of slightly taller height than Renarin, blond hair peppered with black. An easy-smile plastered on his face.  </p><p>“This is your roommate?” The guy asked swiftly, his voice friendly and bright.  </p><p>“Oh um, right,” Renarin turned to the guy. “Kaladin Stormblessed. And Kaladin, this is my older brother, Adolin.”  </p><p>Kaladin raised an eyebrow. Older brother? Was he a student here too?  </p><p>Kaladin gave a curt nod, but Adolin went the extra step and extended his hand for a handshake.  </p><p>“Pleased to meet you,” Adolin smiled again, and Kaladin found himself foolishly grabbing his hand with his heartbeat in his throat. “I hope you take good care of my brother.”  </p><p>“Oh, i already am,” Kaladin said, and Adolin’s hand was warm and masculine but his fingers were so smooth to the touch.  </p><p>Renarin sat with an embarrassed blush. “Cut it out you two. I can take care of myself. And don’t scare him, Adolin.”  </p><p>“I’m trying to be nice,” Adolin sat too, grinning at his brother. Renarin brought his own notebook to the table, getting ready to study. </p><p>Kaladin looked between the two, now able to spot the similarities between the Kholin brothers. While Adolin’s hair was blond peppered black, Renarin’s was mainly black with specks of blond. Their eyes were both a light blue, like an ocean.  </p><p>Renarin was an engineering student, and had a class overlapping with Kaladin’s. They were both juniors of the same age, having both had a slightly late start to college.  </p><p>“Kaladin’s a med student,” Renarin looked at his brother. “He needs to get stuff done, so let’s not talk too much, Adolin.”  </p><p>“Ouch, that’s brutal Ren,” Adolin pouted back, but his lips were still fighting a smile. He glanced at Kaladin, noting the staring. </p><p>Kaladin sat a bit straighter, embarrassed that Adolin caught him.  </p><p>“Well, I didn’t really introduce myself properly,” Adolin said, looking through the menu and at Kaladin. “I’m in the Arts department, twenty-three years old. I’m doing a double major in fashion and dance.”  </p><p>Kaladin swallowed. “That’s amazing. You must be very talented.”  </p><p>Adolin grinned at the compliment. “I would agree, but I'm humble and all that shit.”  </p><p>Kaladin cracked a smirk, humoring  Adolin. “What type of dance do you study?” </p><p>“Modern and contemporary,” Adolin answered. “In fact, I have a show next month.”  </p><p>Renarin smiled. “He got picked as a lead dancer for a duo for the gala next month, apparently.” </p><p>“There’s a gala next month?” Kaladin looked between the two, receiving a blank expression from Renarin and an amused smile from Adolin.  </p><p>“You didn’t know? The flyers are all over the place.” Adolin was trying not to laugh, but the way he spoke wasn’t to spite or make fun of Kaladin.  </p><p>“I haven’t noticed.” Kaladin looked back to his notes. “I’ve been kind of preoccupied.”  </p><p>Adolin nodded understandingly. “That must be a lot of work. Anyways, the gala would be fun. The Arts department is hosting a fundraiser for disabled students to gain scholarships.”  </p><p>“Urithiru university has this kind of budget?” Kaladin asked again, probably looking like the weird kid himself. He knew the university was of the top in the country, but this seemed... extravagant. </p><p>Adolin smiled, waving a hand. “Something like that. It would be great if you could make it, though.” </p><p>Kaladin stared at Adolin for a while, taking in the way his hair curled around the nape of his neck, curls messy but pretty. The pullover Adolin sported was proof enough Adolin majored in fashion too.  </p><p>Noting Renarin’s quietness, Kaladin lowered his eyes back to his notes, cheek resting on his palm. He pulled his headphones back on, pressing play on the lecture.  </p><p>It was a little hard to concentrate with the company, but it wasn’t unwanted. Renarin was quiet as a mouse, spinning is pen in his hand, almost anxiously. He had the tendency of doing that often. Adolin had ordered them iced coffee too -Renarin wasn’t good with hot drinks- then pulled out a book and started reading it. By its title, it was probably an art book. </p><p>The rest of their stay was peaceful, no one uttering a word to disrupt the quiet they’ve fallen into. From the corner of his eye, Kaladin had noticed how Adolin would shoot him a glance every now and then, only to smoothly look back to his book. The one-time Kaladin caught him red-handed, Adolin smiled cheekily and didn’t even have the decency of looking guilty.  </p><p>When it started to grow dark outside, Kaladin was content to have covered two of his biology lectures already. Going back home, he would just have to review the notes for a short time before a shut-eye.  </p><p>The three agreed to call it a day, picking up their stuff. Kaladin stood and realized with an after-thought that he was a good head taller than Adolin. Fuck, now that they were both standing up, Adolin’s hair looked so ruffly and cute from above. Kaladin hoped he was the only one who had the privilege of this.  </p><p>He bit down on his lip to stop his thoughts from wandering. Had Kaladin’s brain frayed into nothingness after the long study session?  </p><p>“What do you say we go to the bar?” Adolin asked, pulling his bag over his shoulder. “Come hang with us, Kaladin.”  </p><p>Renarin poked his brother in the shoulder. “I didn’t say I'm going.”  </p><p>“Sorry, too tired for that,” Kaladin looked away, stuffing his hand in his pocket.  </p><p>Adolin frowned, looking like a disappointed puppy. “Aw, you guys.” </p><p>“Besides, it gets really crowdy at night,” Renarin confessed, voice small. “I’d rather not.”  </p><p>Adolin ruffled Renarin’s hair affectionately with a smile. “Don't look down like that, it's fine. Though, I promised some friends I’d meet them. So, I’ll have to go.”  </p><p>Renarin nodded, fixing his strands of hair. “Good luck.”  </p><p>Kaladin and Adolin hummed in question, both wondering what kind of good luck Adolin needed with his friends in a bar.  </p><p>Renarin blushed visibly. “I meant with practice, tomorrow.” </p><p>Renarin’s brain was like that sometime, he thought far ahead and his mouth wouldn’t be able catch up to his brain. Kaladin was getting used to it, and honestly it was quite endearing. </p><p>Adolin flashed a grin and bid them goodbye with a wave, leaving the two in a comfortable silence.  </p><p>“Um, sorry about bringing my brother all of a sudden,” Renarin murmured. </p><p>“It’s fine,” Kaladin said, and he meant it. “He’s nice.”  </p><p>“He’ll probably drop by often, in our room I mean,” Renarin confessed with a wince. “Adolin likes people, he’s very social and well-known even among juniors of different departments.” </p><p>Well, that would need some getting used to. Not only was the dorm noisy, but he had to expect a pretty guy busting in their room at any given time of the day.  </p><p>This year was going to be great. Hint, sarcasm.  </p><p>*** </p><p>“Hey Kaladin,” Adolin walked into the room, trailing behind Renarin with snacks in his arms. “Catch.”  </p><p>Kaladin was nose deep in an encyclopedia, but it apparently wasn’t hint enough for Adolin not to throw the damn snack.  </p><p>Kaladin caught the thing with exactness, and Adolin whistled. It was spicy chips. Kaladin stared straight at Adolin, asking himself if there were a subtext to this. But Adolin continued whistling with an easy mind.  </p><p>“Thanks,” Kaladin put them down for now, but the gesture was nice enough. If Adolin would visit often with snacks, that didn’t sound too bad. These days, Kaladin didn’t have the will to get up and feed himself, unless it was absolutely necessary. He recognized how unhealthy that sounded, he still couldn’t bring himself to care.  </p><p>Today, Adolin was wearing a baggy fushia crop top, and compared to him, Kaladin felt like a peasant with his black hoodie. Scratch that, Kaladin probably looked like an emo kid who hadn’t brushed his hair in ages. Well, he hadn’t brushed his hair for two days, it wasn’t a big deal, but still.  </p><p>Kaladin instinctively curled into himself, completely having missed the conversation going between the brothers. And the question he had been asked.  </p><p>“Huh?” Kaladin croaked out, managing to feel even <em> smaller  </em>compared to Adolin.  </p><p>“I was asking if you wanted to come with and have lunch,” Adolin said, awaiting for a reply still.  </p><p>“I’m good, actually.” Kaladin was fucking hungry, but he didn’t plan to be looked after by his roommate’s brother. For some reason, he didn’t <em> want  </em>to be treated like the brother’s roommate. “Thanks.” </p><p>“Hmm,” Adolin hummed under his breath. “You sure? You look a little pale there, have you had lunch yet?”  </p><p>“Not yet, but I will.” Kaladin answered, growing tired.  </p><p>Renarin was sitting on his bed, a book open on his lap. He stared at Kaladin, recognizing the look of despair.  </p><p>“Um, Adolin,” Renarin murmured. “We’ll have lunch together, you don’t need to mother us.”  </p><p>“I’m not mothering you, I want to have lunch with you.” Adolin put his hands on his hips, looking absolutely gorgeous. </p><p>“Some other time,” Renarin waved his brother goodbye, and Adolin retreated with a wave.  </p><p>Kaladin watched him, then looked back to his notes.  </p><p>From then on, Adolin’s visits were more and more frequent. He would come over with snacks, sometimes without. Renarin would just allow his brother to plop on his bed and talk his heart’s content out. Kaladin would come back and find Adolin in the room. That found him wondering if Adolin even studied. At this point, he saw more of Adolin than his own classmates.  </p><p>And Adolin was... suspiciously nice. Renarin had snorted, something he rarely did, and assured him that Adolin was just like that. Nice to everyone. There were times where Adolin would speak of his friends, about dating and clubbing and whatsoever. It wasn’t really gossip as much as it was Adolin being extremely sunshiny. </p><p>Kaladin should have been annoyed at the guy. This person who’d flap in his room with gorgeous colors and curly hair. This guy who would playfully whine and stumble in at late hours of the night because of drunkenness. But he wasn’t. He got irritated at times, wincing everytime the door opened to disturb his peace. But one couldn’t simply get mad at Adolin. Not when he <em> noticed  </em>the irritation and tried to make it up with simply... existing.  </p><p>He was always the spotlight in the room, and Kaladin had a feeling he’s the spotlight in every other room he walked into. </p><p>“Dude, you’ve been wearing that hoodie for like, five days now.” Adolin chuckled one time, sitting on the floor of Kaladin’s and Renarin’s room, scrolling down his phone.  </p><p>Kaladin grunted, scrolling through his own phone with eyebags underneath his eyes.  </p><p>“You look really stressed.” Adolin popped a chocolate bar in his mouth, and Kaladin was looking through his emails, checking for anything new.  </p><p>He grunted again.  </p><p>With a few rustles and movements out of Kaladin’s line of sight, Adolin suddenly popped up in front of him, arms crossed over Kaladin’s bed. Adolin put his chin on his forearm, clearly trying to catch Kaladin’s eye.  </p><p>“What are you so busy with?” He asked slyly, interest lacing his tone.  </p><p>Kaladin came face to face with Adolin. He was so close Kaladin could see the deep color of his eyes, and god, were Adolin’s lashes so long? Kaladin was apparently staring, for Adolin has been quizzically humming. Then, like an absolute dork, Kaladin lost grip on his phone, it ending up plopping on the bed with a soft thump. </p><p>“Um,” Kaladin sat up, trusting in his goo hands to hold him from beneath. “I’m going to the library.”  </p><p>Adolin glanced at the clock. “Now? It’s like 8 pm.” </p><p>“Yes, good thing the library stays open all night as well.” Kaladin cleared his throat and stood, quickly stuffing his laptop in his bag, with his notebook and pencils.  </p><p>“But you need sleep.” Adolin barely finished the whole sentence before Kaladin raised his hand in a goodbye, his cheeks rosy.  </p><p>He couldn’t last another second with Adolin there. He couldn’t make up his mind on whether Adolin was doing it on purpose or not. He sighed in the cold night air, feeling the rush hit his face and steeling his nerves. No matter, it wasn’t Kaladin’s business to decipher Adolin’s actions or even try to understand them. If Adolin was just nice the way he usually was and just wanted to be friends, let him knock himself out. Kaladin didn’t want to be friends with someone this extroverted, Kaladin wouldn’t be able to keep up.  </p><p>Adolin was also probably very spoiled, truth be told. Kaladin wouldn’t judge a guy for taking care of himself and dressing himself up, but Kaladin simply wasn’t Adolin. He couldn’t match up Adolin’s energy even if he tried... screw it.  </p><p>He reached the library and chose a farther away corner, a square long desk he occupied by himself, just to grasp at that quiet he liked yet despised at the same time. It was good when he studied and was immersed in his lectures, but at times he would lose concentration, and his mind would wander and swim in a darkness Kaladin found hard to slip away from.  </p><p>That darkness was scary, but Kaladin learned his way around it. It wasn’t much a healing from it rather than dipping in certain negative habits to ignore it. Such as staying up late to study when the nightmares plagued his mind. Otherwise, he’d be tormented with betraying thoughts and he’d slip from his mind far enough that he’d...  </p><p>Kaladin screwed his eyes shut, rubbed his face and slapped his cheeks softly, before paying back attention to his notes. He had an open medical encyclopedia on one side, detailing the veins on the heart section.  </p><p>He wasn’t sure how much time had passed since he sat there and scribbled on his notebook, but the library was pretty much empty. He stifled a yawn, rubbing insistently at his eyes.  </p><p>He had finished a few sections of the current Bio cell unit, but he could prepare the next lecture just to stay ahead of time. With his bad luck, he’d need to be on his toes when his classes decided to be messy.  </p><p>“You’re still here.”  </p><p>Kaladin straightened up his back, wincing when a few muscles popped from the over exertion. He had been bended over his desk for a long time.  </p><p>Adolin was standing a few desks away from his, expression unrecognizable. Then, he approached Kaladin, claiming the seat next to him. He sat with his back facing the desk, so he was sitting the opposite way from Kaladin. </p><p>“Why are you here?” Kaladin asked, trying to pay Adolin no heed.  </p><p>“To check on you,” Adolin answered with a shrug. “With your unhealthy tendencies, I knew you wouldn’t go back early.”  </p><p>Kaladin grunted. “And who’s fault do you think that it?” Perhaps uncalled for, but Kaladin was on his last nerve and it was late. What was Adolin’s game here?  </p><p>“Cause I was in your room?” Adolin pulled up his leg, sitting over it. “Was I a bother?”  </p><p>“No,” Kaladin said, sighing. “No, Adolin. I just felt like studying here.”  </p><p>“Oh, lies,” Adolin said again, and Kaladin almost busted a vein when he aggressively snapped his chin to the right, facing Adolin. But Adolin was smiling. Fucking man, he was always smiling.  </p><p>“Alright, fine,” Kaladin pointed his pencil to Adolin’s face. “You were being intrusive, happy?”  </p><p>“Not in the least, actually,” Adolin said. “Do you not like it when I drop by?”  </p><p>Adolin was very direct with his words. Another thing Kaladin was bad at reciprocating. Communication with feelings and relationships on the line. “Not... really.”  </p><p>“Is it okay if I keep visiting then?” Adolin said again.  </p><p>“You can do whatever you want, it’s also your brother’s room,” Kaladin shrugged, wondering if he'd regret these words in the near future. “Just... visit less.”  </p><p>Adolin laughed under his breath. “I can do that. Why didn’t you tell me from the beginning?”  </p><p>Kaladin was close to poking the man with his pen in the eye.  </p><p>“Oh, don’t tell me,” Adolin waved a dismissive hand. “I don’t think I want to know.”  </p><p>“Whatever, what time is it anyway?” Kaladin closed his eyes for a moment, his head painfully throbbing.  </p><p>“A little after 1 in the morning.” Adolin peeked at Kaladin’s face.  </p><p>A jolt went through Kaladin’s spine. “And... why the hell are you checking up on me so late at night?”  </p><p>He took a peek at Adolin’s expression, and that fucking smile sent butterflies of all kinds through his stomach. Kaladin’s hands tingled, in search of something.  </p><p>Adolin opened his mouth to answer, but Kaladin’s hand flew over to his mouth, shutting him up.  </p><p>They stared at each other in silence, and Kaladin heaved out. “I don’t... I don’t want to know, so nevermind.” He swiftly turned his head to the other side, and rested it on his arms, feeling Adolin’s gaze burn through the back of his head.  </p><p>Now that he thought about it, he was extremely exhausted. He’d been couped up here for at least four hours, in the sweater that Adolin deemed unworthy. His eyelids fell down heavily, unable to strain against the illumination of the library.  </p><p>Long, soft fingers touched the ends of his hair, a prickle at the base of Kaladin’s neck. Then the fingers started carding smoothly from the roots to the ends of Kaladin's hair.  </p><p>“What...are you doing?” Kaladin found himself hissing, though he didn’t mean the hostility.  </p><p>“Your hair is soft,” Adolin’s fingers didn’t still, combing slowly and therapeutically. And fuck, Kaladin didn’t know how much he needed this until this very moment. The moment he felt the softness.  </p><p>“Fuck, Adolin,” Kaladin grumbled in his arms, trying to bury his whole face away from the outside world, from Adolin’s eyes. Because what was this feeling. This had no business feeling so nice.  </p><p>Adolin’s both hands grabbed his hair into a ponytail, and then he chuckled to himself. “Mind if I braid it for you?” He was asking, but his fingers were already doing the job.  </p><p>Kaladin didn’t answer because Adolin didn’t <em> need  </em>the answer. Because Adolin’s touch never felt so good before.  </p><p>“You can nap for a while,” Adolin said gently, Kaladin could hear the smile in his voice. “I’ll wake you.”  </p><p>“I don’t trust you,” Kaladin murmured, but Adolin’s fingers were numbing his mind all the same.  </p><p>“But you can,” It was a whisper, yet Kaladin heard it loud and clear. “You can trust me, it’s fine.”  </p><p>And Kaladin supposed that he could.  </p><p>*** </p><p>Adolin had kept to his promise and woke Kaladin after an hour of a nap. Kaladin was drowsy still, barely remembered to pick up his laptop before heading for the dorms. Adolin reminded him with a laugh that was not quite making fun of him, but finding him endearing.  </p><p>They walked together to the dorms, Adolin taking pity on Kaladin and deciding not to pull him into conversation. But god, that was the best nap Kaladin had ever taken, no competition. It was definitely related to Adolin’s braiding skills, wasn’t it?  </p><p>When they reached Kaladin’s room, Kaladin belatedly touched the firm braid on the sides of his head, meeting as a ponytail at the end. Adolin quirked an eyebrow at him.  </p><p>“About time for some feedback,” Adolin smiled heartily.  </p><p>Kaladin looked at the man, then, with his heart in his throat, looked away. “Thanks for... not betraying me and leaving me behind.”  </p><p>Adolin recognized the half-assed way in which Kaladin ignored the request, and snorted anyway. “You’re welcome.”  </p><p>Kaladin smiled to himself, turning to open the door. “You’re one strange man, really.”  </p><p>“How come?” Adolin hadn’t budged from his spot, even when Kaladin had the door open to walk in as quietly as possible.  </p><p>“How the fuck should I know?” Kaladin rolled his eyes. “If you braid all your friends’ hairs, I'm quite baffled at your dedication.”  </p><p>“But I don’t.” Adolin answered, voice sweet Kaladin wondered if he imagined it.  </p><p>“Don’t find yourself baffled at your dedication?” Kaladin retorted. </p><p>Adolin laughed breezily, his cute curls bouncing on the top of his head. Kaladin’s chest experienced a warmth he was a stranger to.  </p><p>“Ah, well,” Adolin took a step back from the door. Kaladin’s mind was still muddy from his nap, but he somehow managed to catch the cute blush on Adolin’s cheeks. “You can be naïve at times, it’s adorable.”  </p><p>Adolin at least had the decency of walking away right that moment, leaving Kaladin winded in his spot. Left to wonder what fever dream had that been. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed this and stay for the next chapters. Please look forward to this, and i'll do my best :))<br/>Please feel free to comment, gives me free serotonine and i love rereading them when i'm stuck with writer block :")</p><p>Catch me on twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/kalshappinness">@kalshappinness</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Forelsket</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Forelsket (Danish): the euphoria and intensity one experiences when they are first falling in love.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaladin made it out of his seminar without drooping on his desk, and that was one of the biggest achievements for him. He hadn’t slept a wink last night, not after that stunt with Adolin. He should have gotten a shut-eye, seeing as he was exhausted. But his mind drifted to Adolin everytime he seemed to as much as close his eyes. His brain went into overdrive remembering that cute blush on Adolin’s cheeks.  </p><p>Why had he blushed? Why had <em> Kaladin  </em>blushed?  </p><p>Kaladin sighed, confused and disoriented. He was finished with his morning classes, so he made a vow to actually do some laundry and dress in fresh clothes. Else he was going to rot in his current wear.  </p><p>Arriving to the dorms, he made it a point to get to it right away. Thankfully Renarin -nor Adolin, thank fuck- were there. He took the liberty to clean the room, remaining in a sleeveless shirt. He carried his basket full of clothes to the washing machine room, started the machine and ran back to his room for a quick shower.  </p><p>During those blissful moments doing housework and showering, his mind eased into a numb state he had so badly needed. Overworking himself always seemed an escape at first, a numbing solution for the thoughts festering in the back of his mind. But the consequences were always extreme, and Kaladin wished, how he wished, that he could be just normal.  </p><p>Normal was an abstract term, of course. Kaladin knew that, but he had a hard time recognizing that his thoughts were shared by other people experiencing the same mental illness as he. It was unimaginable believing that maybe one day he would be fine.  </p><p>Kaladin had been diagnosed with depression when he was fifteen, all thanks to his parents’ overwhelming care and attention. His doctor had recommended a therapist for him, and for a while, it worked. But the more sessions he spent trying to talk his feelings out, the more he felt awful. And the more he felt awful, the more he realized that money was flowing out faster. And his parents didn’t have that kind of money. His father was a doctor, but he didn’t take pleasure in sucking his patients’ pockets dry. Their income mostly depended on his mother’s flowershop.  </p><p>So Kaladin lied, pretending to be okay, and stopped his therapy sessions. Eventually, that lie shaped up even better, fooling even Kaladin himself. He zoned in on his studies, ignoring his problems, channeling on his need to help and look out for people. He had to care, because no one else did. He <em> worked  </em>his ass off for two years to get in med school, he was supposed to be happy he reached his goal, that his parents were proud. But... he wasn’t. </p><p>He succeeded in some points, but failed in so many others. And the failures weighted so heavily on his shoulders, the balance scale was close to breaking.  </p><p>He sighed heavily, drying his hair with a towel. He missed the feel of Adolin’s braids already, his hair strands firmly held together. Naturally, he didn’t head to his morning lessons looking all dolled up, he uncurled his braids first thing in the morning, in hopes of forgetting that darn blushing face.  </p><p>He groaned louder. Torture, this was torture. Adolin Kholin occupied three quarters of his brain, more capacity than he was allowed to.  </p><p>“Everything okay?” Renarin was sitting on his bed, organizing his books neatly on his side of the shelf. From the looks of it, he was just back from his classes.  </p><p>“Fine.” Kaladin replied softly, pulling on the clean sweater he had singled out, since the others were still washing.  </p><p>“You seem in a bad mood.” Renarin muttered under his breath. Kaladin shot him a glance, and Renarin looked away. Eye-contact wasn’t Renarin’s thing. </p><p>Kaladin sighed, sitting on his own bed, facing Renarin. “I wouldn’t say ‘bad mood’.” </p><p>Renarin pursed his lips thoughtfully. “Oh. It’s hard to tell with you.”  </p><p>“Huh?” Renarin had Kaladin’s full attention now.  </p><p>“Well, it’s just... You basically have the same broody expression whenever. It’s just that your aura changes so I tried to interpret your mood based on that.” </p><p>Kaladin looked away. “I’m not that hard to read, come on now.”  </p><p>“Adolin said the same, but I don’t know.” Renarin smiled to himself, satisfied with his organization skills. They were neatly split by colors, ranging from darkest to lightest. </p><p>“What?” Kaladin gritted out robotically. “What did Adolin say now?”  </p><p>Renarin blinked. “He says you’re easy to read. I don’t see how he gets that impression though, so I don’t know.”  </p><p>Kaladin covered his face and groaned audibly. “Your brother says the strangest things, damn it.”  </p><p>“He does, actually.”  </p><p>“He’s so fucking... annoying.” Kaladin grumbled, fingers pulling at his hair.  </p><p>“Then why were you together last night?”  </p><p>Kaladin looked up so abruptly his head split open with a nauseating headache, but he ignored the slight dizziness. “We weren’t together.”  </p><p>“I was literally awake, I saw you together.” Renarin looked at him dead-on.  </p><p>“We <em> weren’t </em> together,” Kaladin repeated, more insistently. “We met in the library, and we walked back together. That’s all.”  </p><p>“Technically, that means you were together.” Renarin cocked his head. “I’m not wrong.”  </p><p>Kaladin grunted, supposing there was no winning arguing that point. “Yes.”  </p><p>“What was Adolin doing in the library anyway?” Renarin said.  </p><p>“I don’t know,” Kaladin lied. “Studying?”  </p><p>“He had dance practice yesterday,” Renarin informed him. “Unless he ditched.”  </p><p>Now that Kaladin thought about it, Adolin should have been awake for a reason. Could it be that he went to check on Kaladin after his practice? “He practices at night?” </p><p>“Well, we have classes during the day, so I suppose he has no choice.” Renarin said, his fingers fiddling with his little box. “Adolin in a library? At one in the morning?”  </p><p>Renarin was more in disbelief than he should be.  </p><p>“He studies, don’t you think?” Kaladin said, croaking out.  </p><p>“I mean, he spends more time in the practice room than the library.” Renarin said. “He’s got a knack for dance and design. He’d rather spend hours in the practice room than in the library.” </p><p>Kaladin had only known Adolin for a little over two weeks, but that was dedication. He would believe it... if he hadn’t seen Adolin so often hanging out in his room.  </p><p>“Ah.” Kaladin muttered with a sigh. “So... you said he has this gala next month?”  </p><p>“On the 25th,” Renarin nodded. “You’re planning on coming?”  </p><p>“I don’t know,” Kaladin said coolly, for the first time actually being honest with himself. Things with Adolin were so up-in-the-air Kaladin had no idea anymore.  </p><p>Renarin was quiet after that, snacking quietly on a bread. Kaladin headed to the washing room, meeting nobody during this time of the day. He collected his clothes as they finished washing, then walked back to his room. Kaladin’s mind wandered to Renarin’s words from earlier, about Kaladin’s broody mood. He was always so deep in his mind, it was hard to imagine he gave off that impression on people.  </p><p>“Renarin?” Kaladin asked, lining up his clothes neatly on the rack to dry off. Renarin hummed in question. “Do i really seem cold on the outside?”  </p><p>Renarin looked up. “I wouldn’t say ‘cold’. Just... intimidating. Hard to say ‘no’ to, as if you expect things to go your way.”  </p><p>Kaladin wasn’t too worried about his impression on people. But for some reason, he worried about <em> one  </em>person’s impression of him. Adolin. First, he didn’t want to be treated like the little brother’s roommate, and now he didn’t want to come off as cold.  </p><p>Kaladin was losing it.  </p><p>“But Adolin thinks you’re adorable,” Renarin added belatedly. “He’s better than me at reading people. So he must mean it.”  </p><p>Kaladin tried to stay stoic, but his hands were trembling. Beyond control.  </p><p>“How much did you hear really?” Kaladin muttered, embarrassed that Renarin heard the whole thing from last night.  </p><p>Renarin, smiling gently, gave a shrug. “Sorry.”  </p><p>“Don’t apologize, it’s fine,” It wasn’t fine, now he had one more person beside his traitorous mind that would remind him of Adolin’s blush. He finished his task and grumbled as his stomach screamed of hunger. “I’m gonna get some lunch, you need something?”  </p><p>Renarin shook his head, waving goodbye. “I already ate.” </p><p>Kaladin nodded and left, phone and wallet in his pocket.  </p><p>*** </p><p>Kaladin got himself a cheap egg sandwich from the canteen, and headed out to the campus. He thought of going back to the dorms, but scratched off that idea as quick as it came up. He needed some air, some clear oxygen to take his mind off things. He didn’t feel like he deserved having this, but he couldn’t go on with his guilt everyday.  </p><p>He sat on a bench, the wind a gentle breeze and the sun casting a gentle light. It was slightly cloudy, but it didn’t look like it was going to rain. Kaladin had the impression that the sun was too shy to come out. Or maybe it knew of Kaladin Stormblessed’s presence and hid away. It was silly, but that was the kind of luck Kaladin had.  </p><p>He was shortly halfway done through his meal, the bites getting bigger and bigger. He was hungrier than he thought he was.  </p><p>“Kaladin!”  </p><p>That voice Kaladin grew accustomed to brought immediate prickles. Adolin walked up to him, grin easy and lovely as ever. And as if by fate, the sun chose to cast a sunlight right at that moment, Adolin’s honey skin glowing under the bright sun. Adolin’s smile seemed to be the only thing in the world, the only thing that mattered. Because it was fucking... beautiful.  </p><p>Kaladin choked.  </p><p>He was mid-swallow gawking at Adolin like that, it was only natural he’d lose himself again because... <em> Adolin </em>.  </p><p>“Whoa, shit,” Adolin exclaimed, and Kaladin was quick enough to gulp down his water and rescue himself. To save himself from this humiliation.  </p><p>“I’m fine,” Kaladin coughed with a red face. “I’m... okay. You just surprised me.”  </p><p>Adolin winced. “Sorry, didn’t mean to.” He looked back hurriedly and waved a hand to people a small distance back. “You can go ahead, I’ll join you at practice.”  </p><p>His friends, judging by how Adolin addressed them, waved back and walked away, leaving the two together.  </p><p>“Practice?” Kaladin asked hoarsely, somehow his breath still not there.  </p><p>“Yeah, I have practice after lunch,” Adolin took the liberty of plopping down beside Kaladin. “And I've decided I’m going to lunch with you.”  </p><p>Kaladin pulled his lips in a line. And he decided that he wasn’t going to care what Adolin did anymore. “Knock yourself out.”  </p><p>Adolin opened his lunch box, a salad mix. For some reason, he had two forks in handy and offered one to Kaladin.  </p><p>Kaladin arched an eyebrow in question. “I have... many questions.”  </p><p>Adolin emphasized his offer on the fork. “Ask away.”  </p><p>Kaladin held it in his hand. “First, I’m not going to eat your lunch.”  </p><p>“I braid your hair, you lunch with me.”  </p><p>“Where’s the logic?”  </p><p>“You’re returning my favour from yesterday. And I want to eat lunch together. So, let’s lunch together.” Adolin started eating, Kaladin almost felt bad.  </p><p>“And... why are you having salad anyway?” Kaladin bit down on his lip.  </p><p>“I’m on a diet,” Adolin explained lightly. “I need to stay in shape for the performance.”  </p><p>“But it’s nowhere near enough to keep up your strength,” Kaladin frowned.  </p><p>“Yeah, but I was literally snacking away last week,” Adolin shrugged, and Kaladin just stared at him longer. “Chill, I just cut back on my lunch. I know myself.”  </p><p>Kaladin sighed, watching Adolin eat. “If you say so. Just... take care and don’t force yourself, alright?”  </p><p>Adolin glanced towards him, a sweet smile stretching on his face. Kaladin looked down, that same warmth finding itself in his chest again. Adolin then hummed to himself. “I need to cut down on alcohol too.”  </p><p>“That one goes without a given.” Kaladin smirked.  </p><p>“Fuck off.” Adolin laughed, kicking Kaladin’s shin playfully.  </p><p>“Still, I think it’s too little a portion,” Kaladin popped a tomato in his mouth, to give Adolin satisfaction. “You're already thin.”  </p><p>“We can’t be all as muscled as you are.”  </p><p>Kaladin blushed. “I’m not.”  </p><p>“Have you seen your arms?” Adolin bellowed. “I bet you got your classmates’ eyes on you already.”  </p><p>Kaladin’s blush reached the whole way to his ears, so he looked away.  </p><p>“Fuck, of course they do,” Adolin’s voice turned slightly squeaky as he spoke louder. “Of fucking course! You’re so naïve, I swear.”  </p><p>That was... teeth-rottenly cute.  </p><p>“I’m not naïve.” Kaladin responded calmly, finishing his own sandwich. “I just... don’t get that kind of thing.”  </p><p>“Face it, Kaladin, you are naïve at times,” Adolin insisted. “And that’s delicious.”  </p><p>“Stop.” Kaladin’s face was flaming hot. “The whole campus will hear you.”  </p><p>“It’s simply a fact.” Adolin took a sip of his juice. </p><p>“It’s embarrassing enough that Renarin heard us last night!” Kaladin groaned.  </p><p>And it was Adolin’s turn to choke.  </p><p>Kaladin wasn’t expecting it, so it took him by surprise when Adolin spat it out, orange liquid dripping from his nostrils. “He... He did?!”  </p><p>Kaladin stared at him incredulously. “Yes. He told me.”  </p><p>Adolin stared back, possibly unaware of the juice all over his face. He stuttered with that red blush of his, but this time it was the opposite of cute. It was hilarious and kind of idiotic. Kaladin fetched a napkin and wiped the mess on Adolin’s face. “You’ve got juice dripping down your nostrils, geez.” He was fighting back a smile on his face.  </p><p>Adolin blushed even harder. “Fuck, I feel sticky all over. Hey, don’t laugh at me!”  </p><p>Kaladin grinned wider. “Kinda hard not to.”  </p><p>“I got juice all over my shirt too, crap.” Adolin whined, his eyebrows shaping an angry furrow. </p><p> “Serves you right. For making fun of me.”  </p><p>“I wasn’t making fun of you.” Adolin took over for Kaladin, wiping his own mess. “I was just... stating the truth. As I said.”  </p><p>“If you think so.” Kaladin said coolly, but inside he was turning that statement in his mind over and over again.  </p><p>“I’m gonna need to wash my face.” Adolin grumbled lowly. He was annoyed, and Kaladin strangely found that only adding to his charm. </p><p>“Going back to your room?” </p><p>“Can’t, I'd be late for practice. I’m gonna have to walk there. We have a changing room next to the dance room.”  </p><p>“Well, good luck with that.” Kaladin stood.  </p><p>“Wanna come with?” Adolin coughed in his hand, eyes doing the spiel of glancing back and forth from Kaladin’s face.  </p><p>“Why would I-?” Kaladin started.  </p><p>“You need to take responsibility.” Adolin said as matter of fact, not awaiting Kaladin’s answer, grabbing his rucksack and glancing back. “Come on.”  </p><p>“No.” Kaladin said instinctively.  </p><p>“Yes!” Adolin returned.  </p><p>“Am I even allowed to watch?” Kaladin stood in his spot, unbudging.  </p><p>Adolin groaned and took quick hold of Kaladin’s wrist, dragging him along. Fuck, Adolin was <em> strong </em>. “I’ll make an exception. That’s my final say.” </p><p>***  </p><p>“Hi everyone!” Adolin greeted the people inside the practice hall as he entered. Kaladin stuck by his side as Adolin went to wash his face as well, then changed into another shirt for practice. Of course, Kaladin waited outside the door.  </p><p>Adolin received greetings and whoops from all directions. Like Renarin said, Adolin was quite well-liked.  </p><p>Kaladin stuck behind Adolin, observing his surroundings. A total of five people were occupying the practice room, some were looking over equipment and papers, others were practicing in front of a large mirror.  </p><p>“You’ve finally decided to grace us with your presence?” said a young woman with a ponytail. </p><p>“Blame him, Ishnah, not me.” Adolin pointed at Kaladin playfully. “He’s the reason i’m late.” </p><p>“The reason for spitting juice all over yourself?” Kaladin returned with a smirk.  </p><p>“You weren’t supposed to tell them that.” Adolin slapped his arm playfully.  </p><p>“He’s so tall.” said another red-haired girl. She was pale, with freckles on her cheeks. Her red hair signaled she wasn’t from the area. </p><p>Kaladin pulled his lips to a line, unappreciative of being admired like he was Adolin’s puppy. He stood his ground, but stared at them hard enough that <em> they  </em>decided not to crowd him further.  </p><p>“I know right? Can you believe he’s a junior?” Adolin spoke up enthusiastically. It made Kaladin wonder if he ever tired of being so energetic around people. “He’s a med student too.”  </p><p>“Kaladin, nice to meet you,” Kaladin nodded to them, once again pondering what made Adolin bring him along.  </p><p>“Shallan,” The young woman who had praised his tallness introduced herself. “I’m a junior too. But how are you<em> so</em> tall?”  </p><p>Kaladin supposed he understood her reasoning, seeing how she was also really short.  </p><p>“Sigzil, the project manager,” Sigzil smiled. “But I think we already met.” </p><p>“Oh, we’re on the same floor,” Kaladin remembered Sigzil, he was roommates with Lopen. “Yeah, I remember you.” </p><p>“Kaladin Stormblessed, you leave a unique impression.” Sigzil said again, grinning sheepishly.  </p><p>“Unique?” asked a young woman on a wheelchair from Sigzil’s right.  </p><p>“Yeah.” Sigzil shrugged and left it at that. Kaladin glanced at Adolin, slightly nervous. He couldn’t fuck it up around Adolin’s friends.  </p><p>“Anyway,” Adolin spoke up. “Since you’ve already met him, I'll introduce the rest. This is Shallan, she’s studying Arts and Culture. She’s been a huge helper to us.” </p><p>“Your face looks all scrunched up,” Shallan said. “You either find me cute or you’re worried you’ll have to remember our names when you can’t remember names.”  </p><p>“Neither.” Kaladin answered truthfully.  </p><p>“Whoa, what a heartbreaker,” Shallan gasped, putting a hand on her chest scandalously. “That was uncalled for!”  </p><p>Kaladin stared at her, recognizing the teasing tone of her voice. Adolin laughed in turn, somehow finding that remark funny. </p><p>“Next is Ishnah,” The ponytail girl nodded back, rubbing her neck. “She’s doing Theatre, she’s also been a great helper.”  </p><p>“And I think you’re blind for not finding Shallan cute.” Ishnah put a hand on her hip.   </p><p>“Rysn,” Adolin nodded to the woman on the wheelchair, who smiled and waved a hand. “Our current health manager, assigned by the professors herself.” </p><p>Adolin looked back at the spot where there remained a single person, stretching in front of the mirror. “And that is Jakamav, my dance partner.”  </p><p>Jakamav looked back, raising a hand as hello, but otherwise didn’t say a word.  </p><p>“I brought him along to watch, i hope you guys don’t mind?” Adolin put his rucksack in the far corner.  </p><p>Everyone gave positive nods except a single person.  </p><p>“Jakamav?” Adolin asked for his word too.  </p><p>“I suppose it’s okay,” Jakamav nodded his head. The rest retreated to their previous positions, back to their business. </p><p>“You’ve got the okay,” Adolin grinned, pointing a challenging finger at Kaladin’s chest. “Keep your eyes on me, Kal, and be enticed.”  </p><p>Kaladin blinked aggressively as Adolin turned his back and walked away, joining Jakamav with the stretching.  </p><p>Kaladin turned red again, his heart rate speeding up. Lately, Adolin always managed to have this effect on him, rendering him speechless. And what was it with the sudden nickname?</p><p>Kaladin sighed, troubled, and sat in the far back with the rest of the crew. Rysn was checking a list of papers with Sigzil, leaving Adolin and Jakamav to practice. As opposite to Kaladin’s imagination, the actual process was very slow and calculated. It was similar to studying, Kaladin realized. The way Adolin and Jakamav would literally use a measuring tape to calculate the distance between their bodies in every section.  </p><p>“I could be your partner in misery.” Shallan plopped down beside him, legs crossed beneath her lap.  </p><p>“What?” Kaladin paused.  </p><p>“Your bored stare is a cry of help, and I'm bored too. We could be partners in misery.” Shallan said with a sly smile.  </p><p>“I’m not miserable,” Kaladin retorted.  </p><p>Shallan hummed thoughtfully.  </p><p>“What?” Kaladin gritted out.  </p><p>“Nothing.” Shallan rested her cheeks in her hands, watching the practice. Then she looked back at Kaladin again.  </p><p>Kaladin groaned audibly. “What?”  </p><p>“Okay fine,” Shallan quirked her eyebrow. “I’m just bored. And I find it interesting that Adolin brought you along.”  </p><p>“Me too.” Kaladin sighed.  </p><p>“Oh?” Shallan piped up. “So you feel the air too?”  </p><p>Kaladin squinted. “What? What air?”  </p><p>“It’s a metaphor,” Shallan said, pouting. “What I mean is if you felt the tension too?”  </p><p>“Is this... supposed to be a physics test?” Kaladin asked cautiously.  </p><p>Shallan stared at him, wide-eyed. “You’re unbelievable.”  </p><p> Kaladin stared back with a blank expression. Adolin’s friends were as weird as him.  </p><p>“You’re hard to have a conversation with,” Shallan settled for finally. “And when I joke around, you’re way too difficult to please.”  </p><p>Kaladin sighed, running a hand through his air. He was stuck here with this crazy woman for possibly the next two hours. What had he been dragged to?  </p><p>“Well then, let me ask you another question,” Shallan said again, playing with her red hair. “What do think of Jakamav?”  </p><p>“His dance partner?” Kaladin asked, looking the guy over. “He’s... flashy.”  </p><p>“Flashy?” Shallan asked.  </p><p>“He’s quiet, but flashy. Likes to prove himself around Adolin,” Kaladin shoved a hand in his pocket. “A try hard.”  </p><p>Shallan blinked. “You got that much out of first glance?” Kaladin shrugged. “So... you don’t seem to like him.”  </p><p>Kaladin tsk-ed. “I just don’t want him messing with Adolin. Besides, if they were chosen as dance partners, then they must learn to work together.”  </p><p>Shallan grinned slyly. “Damn, you <em> can  </em>feel the air.”  </p><p>Kaladin turned to her, gaze probably harsher than he intended it to be. “Cut it out with the riddles.”  </p><p>Shallan flinched, but her smile stayed on. “Well anyway, I'm supporting you.” </p><p>Before Kaladin could ask her what she meant, Adolin spoke up above the chattering. “Can we turn on the music? We’d like to start.”  </p><p>“Go ahead,” Sigzil nodded.  </p><p>“Show us what you’ve got.” Rysn smiled with a gentle gaze.  </p><p>Adolin jogged over the music player and started the song. He quickly hurried back in position, and suddenly, the gaze in his eyes <em> changed </em>.  </p><p>They were barefoot, probably in hopes to feel lighter. The music started out slow, setting up the mood. Then they started moving to the rhythm, movements sharp.  </p><p>“Oooh, that back arch,” Shallan had wiped out her sketchbook, hand drawing as her eyes fixated on them. “Look at that, the pointed toes. That’s how you know <em>he’s</em> killing it.”  </p><p>Kaladin could hear Shallan gasp with every dance move, he could see that everyone was paying attention. Kaladin gulped at the intensity of the choreography picking up with the music. His eyes were stuck on Adolin, and for that single moment, he thought he was watching something out of this world. </p><p>Adolin wasn’t just dancing, he was weaving the air around him. His dance lines were precise, smooth, and Kaladin had the impression this was for <em> him </em>. Like he was singled out, Adolin's performance only for him. Their eyes met for a second, Adolin smirking and Kaladin jolting up.</p><p>Adolin was marvelous. Adolin was... like a precious pebble Kaladin found in the sand, a pebble he couldn’t help but want to tuck away. Adolin was the sunshine Kaladin needed, and Kaladin couldn’t look away.  </p><p>Kaladin wouldn’t look away.  </p><p>He gulped, noticing his mouth dry out. His heartbeat sounded so painfully loud from within his chest, trying to scream the feelings at Kaladin. That he was an idiot, first and foremost. And that all the moments he spent with Adolin, from the talks in his room to the library to the lunch they shared today, Kaladin had felt whole. That simply, being by Adolin’s side was everything Kaladin wished for. Being with Adolin made him feel whole. Happy.  </p><p>Kaladin was happy around Adolin.  </p><p>Kaladin fell in love with Adolin. The euphoria followed by that realization pumped his veins with a rush Kaladin hadn’t experienced before. </p><p>The music had stopped, and the two dancers panted.  </p><p>“That was great!” Shallan clapped from beside Kaladin, looking amazed.  </p><p>“I think this is the best we’ve seen from you two.” Rysn added cheerfully.  </p><p>Adolin grinned. “We still need to go over some stuff though.”  </p><p>Jakamav nodded back, panting but also smiling. “I wasn’t very synchronized, and there’s a few instances where we got the moves mixed up.”  </p><p>Kaladin swallowed, looking down.  </p><p>His heart was still beating hard through his chest. He was... in love with Adolin.  </p><p>Had he ever experienced this state of euphoria before?  </p><p>“So?” Adolin was suddenly crouched in front of him, face red and grin wide, his eyes awaiting praises. “What did <em> you  </em>think?”  </p><p>Kaladin stared back wide-eyed. “Um,” He quickly regained his composure, actually stuttering. He had never stuttered before. “Y-You were great.”  </p><p>Adolin pulled back, smile growing self-satisfied. He dusted off his pants, and Kaladin couldn’t say if he was red thanks to the fatigue or actually blushing.  </p><p>“Adolin?” Jakamav called from the back. “Want to call it a day? We can look over everything else tomorrow.”  </p><p>“Perfect with me.” Adolin showed an ‘o’ with his index and thumb fingers. Jakamav nodded back and walked out. </p><p>“We’re just gonna finish up here with some paperwork,” Rysn informed Adolin with a smile. “You can go.” </p><p>“I’ll stay to help.” Shallan smiled towards Adolin, high-fiving him. Then she glanced at Kaladin and smirked. Kaladin startled, looking away as fast.  </p><p>“I’m going to go too.” Kaladin informed Adolin who hummed positively. </p><p>“Yeah, wait a sec, I'm walking with you.” Adolin moved to pack up his stuff, and Kaladin was left to stare at him, his legs actually weak at the joints.  </p><p>Thankfully it took only a short time for Adolin to follow him back out. The evening sky was calming, two stars winked in the space as the sun took its time to set down. Campus wasn’t crowded around this part, the students either heading to the library or for a drink. There was plenty of space, but their elbows were almost touching. Kaladin’s heartbeat went into overdrive, panicking at the close proximity with which they walked.  </p><p>Kaladin gulped and allowed himself a peek at Adolin, taking in the way his curls were damp from sweat after the practice. Adolin was handsome, and cute, and his hair looked adorable styled this way. Kaladin looked away, scolding himself for losing it just because of Adolin’s hair.  </p><p>He allowed himself a second peek, the first one not being enough. As fate had it, Adolin’s eyes met his this time and Kaladin immediately turned his head the other way. He felt warmth, the nerves on his face exploding with heat. He dared to take a tiny glance, only to find that Adolin was looking away too, blushing helplessly.  </p><p>Kaladin swallowed again, mouth dry. How did Adolin manage to be so many things at once? Elegant, handsome, cute and now vulnerable. It was too much for Kaladin to take at once.  </p><p>And wasn’t it too quiet? It probably was too quiet. Adolin always started the conversation, but today he was quiet. And Kaladin couldn’t be quiet today. Quiet could be dangerous. </p><p>“You see-” Kaladin started at the same time that Adolin spoke up. Kaladin pursed his lips, gulping the anxiousness down. “Go ahead.”  </p><p>“No,” Adolin was still blushing, but he managed a smile. “You go.”  </p><p>“Well...” Kaladin cleared his throat. “I meant what I said, earlier. You were... wonderful there. You’re very talented and I think, you danced so well.”  </p><p>“Oh, um, thank you.” Adolin said with a definite tremble in his voice.  </p><p>“I don’t know the first thing about dance, so I gained... respect for you.” Kaladin continued with a hand squeezing the back of his neck. “Thanks for... bringing me along. I think I needed it.” <em> I realized I fell in love with you. </em>He left that part out.  </p><p>Adolin touched Kaladin’s forearm, gently holding Kaladin back. “You... You didn’t hate it?”  </p><p>Kaladin was shaking his head before the words were tumbling out of his mouth. “Hate it? Why would I hate it?” </p><p>“I don’t know, wasn’t I being, like, forceful?” Adolin grinned with a shrug. “Sometimes, I tend to, um, try too hard.”  </p><p>“You’re not.” Kaladin said, meaning the words. Two weeks ago he would have thought the same, but apparently impressions were easy to shift when Adolin Kholin was involved.  </p><p>“But you think I'm annoying.” Adolin bit the inside of his cheek.  </p><p>Kaladin’s heart picked up. “Renarin told you?”  </p><p>“Um, no?” Adolin narrowed his eyes smiling. “I figured it out myself. But you told Renarin.”  </p><p>Kaladin looked away. “Shit. No. Well, how do I...” Kaladin sighed heavily. “You’re not <em> that  </em>kind of annoying.” </p><p>“O-Oh?” Adolin choked out.  </p><p>“You’re like the good kind of annoying,” Kaladin smiled, his face still red as a tomato. “You don’t get intimidated by my hard exterior, instead you decided to look past that. I could, like, count on my one hand how many people would go that far. You just care. And you... and you are... just...”  </p><p>Kaladin searched in his mind for the right word, the exact adjective to use for Adolin Kholin. Because Adolin Kholin was so many things. Because Kaladin couldn’t spew that shit about sunshine and pebbles. Fuck, his mind chose right that moment to shut down. </p><p>“I’m what?” Adolin came closer to him, looking desperate for an answer.  </p><p>“You are-” Kaladin’s view was dominated by Adolin’s face, and his eyes immediately skipped to his lips. Oh, he had never taken the time to realize how plump his lips looked. Kaladin backed away on instinct, hitting a light pole with his back. The light above him winked to life, as the darkness started looming around them. “You are...” </p><p>Adolin waited with baited breath, and Kaladin fucked up. “Y-You go. Um. Y-Your turn? What did <em> you </em> want to say?”  </p><p>Adolin paused, then sighed, and for a slight moment Kaladin thought he ruined the mood. He gasped, realizing how half-assed he sounded, grasped around to fix his mess. </p><p>Then, Adolin’s expression broke into the most endearing, warm smile. “Can I kiss you?”  </p><p>Kaladin blinked several times, lost control of his body as his brain decided to abandon him. He felt his head move, didn’t know whether it was a shake or a nod. And he panicked.  </p><p>But seeing as Adolin held his cheeks in place and tiptoed for a kiss, it must have been a nod. Then, Adolin simply took it from there. Their lips locked together, Kaladin frozen to his spot. His hands twitched by his sides, mind numbly processing Adolin’s lips on his.  </p><p>It was magical. Adolin gently lowered Kaladin’s face for a better angle to the kiss, and sighed out contentedly. Kaladin tried to relax, kissing back softly, but Adolin’s hands and lips were too much at once. His back was stuck to the light pole, as if enticed by Adolin’s lips to move anywhere else. </p><p>Adolin parted slowly, gulping down his nervousness and somehow Kaladin’s dignity as well. Because looking at Adolin’s flushed face took all the dignity Kaladin had left, leaving him completely breathless. </p><p>“Kaladin,” Adolin’s fingers pushed a stray strand of hair behind Kaladin’s ear, and smiled.  </p><p>Kaladin covered his mouth, looking over Adolin’s face in stunned silence. The man before him seeming so beautiful in Kaladin’s undeserving eyes. </p><p>Adolin Kholin just kissed him.  </p><p>Adolin laughed breathlessly, then spoke. “I think I—”  </p><p>Kaladin stumbled away, cutting Adolin off with a choked gasp. He backed up to the direction of the dorms. “I’ll- I'll see you then!”  </p><p>And then he ran, the only thought on his mind was how Adolin’s lips still tasted of orange juice. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed the second chapter too, i tried my best to incorporate Kaladin's thoughts and feelings as best as i could from the books and my experience as well. If you happen to feel like Kaladin, i want you to know that it's okay to seek help. Take it easy, take care of yourself and love yourself first and foremost. You deserve so much more, and if you need to rant/vent feel free to message me. I appreciate you. </p><p>Please feel free to leave your thoughts and feelings as always :) it makes me really happy!</p><p>Life before Death!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Shaghaf</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>shaghaf (arabic) : love that nests in the chambers of the heart</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two days later, Kaladin had absolutely no hope of getting out of bed. It was a Saturday, which meant no classes. His responsibilities didn’t kick him in the guts, he wasn’t really needed anywhere. Except he maybe had to feed himself. He was starving, but nothing a morning sleep wouldn’t cure.  </p><p>“Oh Kaladin,” Renarin was watching him from his bed, sighing. “Are you going to stay like that the whole day?”  </p><p>“Yes.” Kaladin croaked out.  </p><p>“Doesn’t seem like you.” Renarin reasoned.  </p><p>“When I stay in bed, I have less probability of embarrassing myself outside.” Kaladin buried more of his face in the pillow, desperate for sweet death.  </p><p>Renarin sighed. “He kissed you. You ran away. I know it seems...” Renarin paused in thought. “Cowardly. But you have to talk it out.”  </p><p>Kaladin shivered at the last sentence. “All I do is ruin things.”  </p><p>“You have no idea how many times I came close to ruining everything in my life.” Renarin said. “It’s okay, you need to, at least, face yourself.”  </p><p>Kaladin groaned.  </p><p>Renarin paused, a silence stretching between them. Then he said. “Adolin was freaking out, you know?”  </p><p><em> Of course  </em>Adolin freaked out. He probably hated Kaladin for humiliating the both of them like that. He probably swore Kaladin off his life. It was probably a record Kaladin had broken. Realizing he fell in love with a guy only to publicly humiliate him. “He was... angry, wasn’t he?”  </p><p>“No, he was blaming himself,” Renarin admitted. “I never saw my brother so remorseful before.”  </p><p>“What?” Kaladin sat up, turning over to Renarin. “Why? Why would he be remorseful?”  </p><p>“I don’t know, you should ask him yourself.” Renarin said again.  </p><p>Kaladin turned red in a matter of seconds, the kiss flashing in his mind again. “That... that...”  </p><p>Renarin stared at him with a quirk of the eyebrows. “You <em> are  </em>more of a prude than I thought.”  </p><p>“It’s not that I didn’t like it...” Kaladin muttered, groaning.  </p><p>“So... it’s that you are a prude?”  </p><p>“Not that either.” Kaladin sighed, hair unbrushed and eyebags under his eyes. “I’m not a prude.”  </p><p>Renarin stared unamused at him.  </p><p>Kaladin grunted, costing him his entire pride to admit the following. “I... I liked the kiss.”  </p><p>Renarin’s eyebrows raised very high. “Ah.”  </p><p>“Yeah.” Kaladin cleared his throat.  </p><p>“<em> Ah </em>.” Renarin repeated. “Well then, why don’t you tell Adolin that?”  </p><p>Kaladin turned red at the ears. “I can’t face him.”  </p><p>“Kaladin.”  </p><p>“No, really. I will die on the spot if I face him again.”  </p><p>“So you’ll waste away here, knowing that you haven’t cleared the misunderstanding between you two?”  </p><p>Kaladin plopped back on bed, slapping his pillow on his face. “Yeah.”  </p><p>“My brother is <em> seriously  </em>debating that he turned you off.” Renarin reasoned.  </p><p>“Fuck.” Kaladin groaned audibly. “How did it turn out this way?”  </p><p>A knock came on the door, and Renarin moved to open up. Kaladin turned into a sloth in his blankets hissing at Renarin not to let Adolin inside in case it was him. Renarin simply said that he was expecting someone else, and opened the door.  </p><p>Chaos ensued.  </p><p>“We heard Kal kissed someone.” A voice piped up. Kaladin recognized it as Lopen.  </p><p>“Let me get a peek!” Drehy slipped inside the room through the many people and peeked at Kaladin’s form. How did they even find out? But the guys on this floor always seemed to know everything, so Kaladin didn’t bother torturing himself with the knowledge. </p><p>“Oh geez, did you get rejected after all?” Lopen poked Kaladin with a stick. Why, Kaladin didn’t even want to ask. “It’s fine, I got rejected plenty of times before I got a girlfriend.”  </p><p>“You’re single, Lopen.” Sigzil answered.  </p><p>“Hush, Kaladin doesn’t need the reminder!” Lopen scolded quietly.  </p><p>“Thought you were a prude,” Moash sounded from behind. “You got guts to kiss someone, but then you got rejected?”  </p><p>Kaladin grunted. “I didn’t get rejected.”  </p><p>“It’s fine, gancho,” Lopen comforted. “This is the circle of life. We are here to comfort you.”  </p><p>“How about we, just, you know, back off?” Rlain, the voice of reason, said. “He’s in a bad mood.”  </p><p>Lopen kept poking Kaladin’s back with that stick, it took everything in Kaladin not to throw his blanket off and break it in two.  </p><p>“Well if Kaladin still wants to sulk,” Moash said. “We leave him to sulk.”  </p><p>“Harsh.” Dabbid commented.  </p><p>“Realistic.” Moash corrected. “He needs to feel miserable first.” </p><p>“Well Kaladin has been like this for two days, besides from attending his classes like a zombie. So Lopen thinks we should stay by his side.” Lopen’s stick was still poking Kaladin.  </p><p>“Kaladin can hear you, and he can speak for himself.” Kaladin grumbled from underneath the blanket.  </p><p>“That’s why Lopen thinks this is fun,” Lopen grinned.  </p><p>“Sigzil thinks he’s trying to tell us to leave politely.” Sigzil supplied.  </p><p>“Renarin thinks so too.” Renarin added belatedly, earning him a few whoops and laughs from the others.  </p><p>Kaladin sat up, throwing his blanket away. “Enough speaking in third person.”  </p><p>Rlain stared at him, then gripped the area around his own heart. “Does your heart... hurt?” Rlain was mostly good with words and the tone of voice used to deliver them. </p><p>“I didn’t get rejected.” Kaladin said.  </p><p>“Oh Kal,” Moash patted him on the shoulder, then crossed his arms. “It’s fine to admit so, we won’t think of you any less.” Dabbid nodded mutely, adding a thumb up.  </p><p>“Like I said, I didn’t get rejected,” Kaladin grunted. “I got kissed, and I ran.”  </p><p>He received silence.  </p><p>Kaladin sighed, letting his eyes wander to the wall behind everyone else. “I like someone, and we kissed. But I panicked and... and ran away.”  </p><p>“Holy shit.” Moash commented, trembling in his stand in an effort to hold his laughter back.  </p><p>“Gancho, now I just feel bad for them,” Lopen frowned theatrically. “I’m thinking our support should be directed at the person you ditched like that.”  </p><p>“Good to know you’re on my side.” Kaladin commented dryly.  </p><p>Skar snorted. “Why did you run though?”  </p><p>“I...” Kaladin covered his face and growled. He had been asking himself this question for the past two days. He still couldn’t tell. “I don’t know.”  </p><p>Moash crossed his arms. “Damn. I’d be heartbroken if I kissed someone, they ran away, and their answer is ‘I don’t know.’”  </p><p>“Are they ugly?” Lopen asked shamelessly, raising a finger as if he connected the dots.  </p><p>“Are they terrible at kissing?” Drehy said.  </p><p>Adolin was a <em> very  </em>good kisser, Kaladin was the inexperienced one. Kaladin found his late night thoughts wandering to how many people Adolin had kissed to be that good. “No.”  </p><p>“No they’re not a good kisser, or no they’re a good kisser?” Rlain asked geniunely, and Renarin raised an eyebrow next to Rlain, <em> also  </em>interested in the answer.  </p><p>Kaladin turned red, he couldn’t just spew Adolin’s kissing techniques in front of his brother.  </p><p>“Oh no,” Lopen showed a worried expression. “Are they my cousin and you’re worried about me beating you up?”  </p><p>Sigzil held the bridge between his eyebrows. “Lopen, keep your mouth shut.”  </p><p>“At least I'm trying to get a reaction out of Kaladin!”  </p><p>“Your logic doesn’t make any sense, please.” Sigzil rolled his eyes.  </p><p>Kaladin groaned. “Hell, won’t you let me be in peace?”  </p><p>“Nah,” Moash grinned. “The fourth floor always sticks together through every crisis. Get used to it.”  </p><p>“Renarin is being awfully quiet,” Huio remarked with a grin, side-eyeing him.  </p><p>“I’m... always quiet.” Renarin answered. </p><p>“Do you know something?” Lopen said.  </p><p>“You’re his roommate, you must know something,” Huio said, raising his eyebrows playfully. </p><p>“Did he kiss <em> you </em>, Renarin?” Lopen wrapped an arm around his shoulders, clenching a fist in determination. “I’ll beat him up for you. Though he’d probably finish me before I got a chance.” </p><p>“Lopen, don’t push it.” Rlain said with a dismissive hand.  </p><p>Lopen whined, his eyes turning to Kaladin. “So who is it anyway, gancho? You trust in us right?”  </p><p>Kaladin supposed there was no need to hide the fact if they were going to ask Renarin about it. And he didn’t want the boy involved in this sappy drama. “Adolin.”  </p><p>“Who?” That was Moash. </p><p>“Oh lord,” Sigzil stared with wide eyes. “You kissed <em> Adolin </em>??” </p><p>“<em> He  </em>kissed me.” Kaladin corrected.  </p><p>“You have the hots for each other?!” Sigzil exclaimed louder than necessary.  </p><p>“Wait who is it? I need to be in the loop!” Lopen flailed his arms to direct the conversation back.  </p><p>“He’s a dance student,” Sigzil supplied with a faraway look in his eyes, shock just sinking in. </p><p>“Is he handsome?” Drehy asked.  </p><p>“Wait,” Rlain turned to Renarin. “Isn’t he your older brother?”  </p><p>Renarin, strangely, grinned. “Precisely.”  </p><p>“You have the hots for little Renarin’s brother?” Skar bellowed.  </p><p>Dabbid rubbed the back of his neck while Lopen was, Kaladin assumed, cursing in his mother tongue.  </p><p>“It’s a good reaction.” Huio supplied with a shrug, watching his cousin lose it over Kaladin’s love life.  </p><p>Moash whistled. “He’s your type?”  </p><p>“Wait, hold on, I’m still hung up on the ‘he ran away from the older Kholin part.’” Skar blinked.  </p><p>Sigzil finally snapped out of his shock and held Kaladin’s shoulders. “What did you do to the poor lad?”  </p><p>Kaladin was swarmed by questions, questions he didn’t want to answer or even acknowledge. They were a good lot, these guys, with their nosiness and all. But admitting he had a crush on Adolin publicly? Explaining himself when he couldn’t even understand?  </p><p>“Hold on, back off, guys,” Kaladin sighed as Lopen started yelling about how Kaladin was a much early-bloomer than he thought. Enough.  </p><p>Kaladin stood and towered over the rest, using his height to his advantage. “Stop!” </p><p>Lopen, as he was the closest to Kaladin, backed off and fell backwards. Kaladin sighed and helped him to his feet. Lopen murmured thanks and apologies. </p><p>“Enough already,” Kaladin spoke softly. He wasn’t mad, just overwhelmed. And he wanted to convey those thoughts to these guys. “I appreciate your support, as weird as it may be from some,” He said, implying that part on Lopen. “But right now, my head hurts and I need some aspirin if I’m hoping to last the day. Things with Adolin.... are strictly personal right now. I’m sure he’s not speaking of the humiliation I made him go through, so it’s only fair that I don’t as well.”  </p><p>The young men quieted, one by one, giving understanding smiles.  </p><p>“You talk like a general,” Skar commented with a snort. “You know, in all the time we spent here, no one managed to quiet us down all at once.” </p><p>Moash grinned. “You could be our leader.”  </p><p>Kaladin shook his head with a grateful smile. These guys were quite a handful.  </p><p>“Anyways, that’s our cue to leave,” Rlain announced with a clap of the hands. Kaladin noticed how Renarin stopped shifting, relaxing now instead. “It's a Saturday morning, and we’re being noisy.”  </p><p>“Your whole thing is about being noisy,” Lopen remarked.  </p><p>“For the last time Lopen, I study music theory. That’s the opposite of noisiness.” Rlain explained curtly and opened the door for the rest. </p><p>Kaladin watched them leave, turning his back playfully when Lopen went for more questions. He didn’t quite expect Moash to manhandle Lopen on his shoulder as they walked out of the room.  </p><p>Renarin laughed under his breath as he shut the door. “They’re so much fun.”  </p><p>Kaladin watched Renarin slightly light up. He was mostly always solemn; one didn’t simply catch Renarin smiling. Not like Kaladin was much of a smiler as well, but still.  </p><p>“You like them,” Kaladin said, more of a thought than an accusation.  </p><p>“I do, actually,” Renarin turned to Kaladin. “Most of them think I’m weird, but... that’s okay.” </p><p>“I’m sure they don’t think that.”  </p><p>“Please, I can hear their thoughts,” Renarin walked to the closet and picked out some clothes. “I grew up with those looks they give me.”  </p><p>“What looks?” Kaladin slightly furrowed his eyebrows, drinking the aspirin for his headache.  </p><p>“You know, like I’m too quiet, too solemn, I don’t react as well as I should,” Renarin shrugged a shoulder. “I’m just... not like the usual person in most friend groups.”  </p><p>“Did you see Lopen?”  </p><p>Renarin sighed. “Yeah, but Lopen is the hilarious type of weird. He <em> fits  </em>in. Everyone fits in. But I don’t, I'm always seen as the guy on the sidelines, the creep,” Renarin shivered. “They’re not bad guys, but I just wish those stares wouldn’t be thrown my way.”  </p><p>Kaladin stayed quiet, watching as Renarin pulled on a shirt.  </p><p>“I... don’t usually tell people this,” Renarin gulped, fixing the hem of his shirt. “I mean, it’s not really a secret, and I guess it wouldn’t hurt telling you,” Renarin paused. “I'm autistic, so I really mean it when I say I <em> see  </em>those stares.” </p><p>“Oh.” Kaladin straightened up.  </p><p>“They’re not bad stares, I know, they’re good guys,” Renarin continued, a little too hastily. “It just, sometimes, I feel like I'm back to when I was a kid, when the stares were much more intense and hostile.”  </p><p>“Oh, Renarin,” Kaladin frowned, then licked down on his lips. “Thanks... for telling me.” </p><p>Renarin nodded. “Yeah.”  </p><p>“But I'm still gonna say this,” Kaladin added. “I don’t know what it’s like in your shoes, sure, but you are part of this group as much as anyone else. They like you, and I certainly appreciate you here as well,” He stood and clapped Renarin on the shoulder.  </p><p>Renarin stilled, then showed a reserved grin. “You <em> could  </em>totally be the leader.” </p><p>Kaladin rolled his eyes with a smirk. “Yeah right.”  </p><p>“Thanks,” Renarin said lightheartedly. “That was good to hear. And what will you do about Adolin?”  </p><p>Kaladin looked away almost immediately at the mention of Adolin.  </p><p>“Ah,” Renarin wore his scarf. “We’re still sulking about that.”  </p><p>“I’m not sulking,” Kaladin sighed. “Just... indecisive.”  </p><p>“Then, um, I have something.”  </p><p>“Something?” Kaladin narrowed his eyes.  </p><p>Renarin startled. “Oh, did it again. I meant, I have something to do, so I'll leave you to your decision making.”  </p><p>Kaladin hummed understandingly. Renarin jumped over his words when his head raced ahead of his mouth. Today though, it looked like there was a trigger to why Renarin was somewhat in a hurry. He <em> has  </em>been hastening the others to leave. He also seemed eager. </p><p>“What kind of thing?” Kaladin asked curiously. Renarin was hiding something, Kaladin just needed to crack it down. Was Renarin in some kind of trouble?  </p><p>Renarin was already at the door. “A thing. Good luck.” And then he was out, leaving Kaladin standing in the middle of the room. It wasn’t his business anyways, he wasn’t going to press the young man.  </p><p>Kaladin sighed, falling on his bed and planting his face in his pillow. Adolin plagued his mind like some kind of storm that carried rocks with it. And it tortured him. It wasn’t the thought of Adolin himself, but the thought of <em> leaving  </em>Adolin like that. He must have been so confused. Kaladin almost took pity and bolted for the door. He didn’t. </p><p>Even if he did, he had no idea how to explain himself. ‘I’m sorry I ran away, I just felt your lips on mine and panicked and decided to run for my life’. Yeah, that wasn’t going to work. Kaladin wouldn’t be getting out of bed and risk himself meeting Adolin.  </p><p>Renarin was definitely correct when he said Kaladin was a prude. Kaladin groaned in his pillow.  </p><p>Kaladin stayed like that for a while, mind numb and not processing a thing. His headache was barely present anymore. He could have studied, chased the demons away, but Kaladin also hated himself. He hated it when he got like this, all pathetic and self-deprecating.  </p><p>Eventually, a knock sounded on the door, bringing Kaladin out of his reverie. He debated on staying in bed, but that was bordering his morality.  </p><p>He stood and crankily walked to the door, grunting with every step.  </p><p>He didn’t expect Adolin fucking Kholin standing at the door. Kaladin barely got a full look at him before he slammed the door shut in his face.  </p><p>Kaladin stood in his place, heart beating at an abnormal rate.  </p><p>“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Adolin growled from the other side of the door. “Kaladin!”  </p><p>Kaladin breathed in and out, in order to calm his beating heart. His palms were already sweating. </p><p>“At least, let’s, talk?” Adolin said again, the tone of his voice something Kaladin wasn’t sure of what it signified.  </p><p>Kaladin wanted to talk, but it was physically painful to stand in front of Adolin with that damn kiss flashing in his mind.  </p><p>“Fine. Do you, um, want me to leave?” Adolin asked after a disturbingly long silence. </p><p>Kaladin bit down on his lip, his cheeks red and flaming hot. Humiliation burned in him like the hot scorch of a flame. But Kaladin didn’t want Adolin to leave, he wasn’t going to screw Adolin like that. </p><p>Kaladin bolted up and opened the door. He caught Adolin’s arm and turned him around, stopping his steps from getting farther away from the door.  </p><p>“Wait, no!” Kaladin exclaimed.  </p><p>“Kaladin?” Adolin asked, uncertain. He glanced back and forth from Kaladin to the hand that’s holding him back. </p><p>“Get- Get in,” Kaladin held the door open, inviting Adolin in. “It... It was an instinctive reaction. I’m sorry.”  </p><p>Adolin studied him for a second, then brushed by him, entering the room. Kaladin shut the door and stood awkwardly, looking at his bare feet.  </p><p>Silence tore the air between them, leaving Kaladin holding his breath for far too long. Was he supposed to say something? He was <em> supposed  </em>to apologize, but he was tongue-tied.  </p><p>“Kaladin,” Adolin sighed, shuffling. “At least look me in the eyes.”  </p><p>Kaladin raised his head robotically, his fists clenched by his sides. He met Adolin’s eyes, and his heart sank to realize that Adolin’s usual smile wasn’t present. Eyebags replaced the smile, a concerned furrow of the eyebrows added to them.  </p><p>“I...” Adolin’s voice cracked. “Um, I need... an explanation.”  </p><p>Kaladin’s fists were trembling. “I... I don’t know what to say.”  </p><p>“Okay but, if I did something wrong-” Adolin said. </p><p>“You didn’t.” Kaladin quickly rode over him.  </p><p>“-just tell me, because I couldn’t sleep from worry. I’m... I asked if I could kiss you and you nodded your head.” Adolin stressed anxiously, like he’d thought this scenario way too many times over in his head.  </p><p>“I-I did.” Kaladin confirmed.  </p><p>“So it was consensual, right?” Adolin said again, hands raised in question. “Was- was the tongue too much?”  </p><p>“No, fuck.” Kaladin exploded in red again, his voice barely a whisper. There was tongue involved? “Yes it was.” </p><p>“It was too much?” Adolin’s voice cracked again.  </p><p>“No! I mean,” Kaladin hurried over in his speech, recognizing that he messed up the answers to the order of questions. “It was consensual!”  </p><p>“It was consensual?” Adolin repeated.  </p><p>“Yes.” Kaladin nodded his head eagerly. “Yeah, it was consensual.”  </p><p>They stared at each other, and Adolin was stunned with a blush on his cheeks. “But... you ran?”  </p><p>Kaladin covered his face. “I know... I’m sorry, it was humiliating, I'm so sorry.”  </p><p>Adolin coughed in his fist. “I... I don’t understand. Was I too much in a hurry? Did I fuck up in something? Should I have read the signals? Are you... not interested in men? Fuck, what is it?”  </p><p>“<em> I’m not used to this! </em> ” Kaladin raised his head and exploded on Adolin. And right then he knew, that was the reason. “I was... I was scared? I think? Not of you, Adolin. I just... I never had this much attention directed at me. I never had someone I liked this much, and...  and I saw you dancing and I fell in love. I was overwhelmed.  I never got with a man  before.  But I kissed a man. I kissed  <em> you </em> .  And I'm  <em> not  </em>confused about that, I’m just... I’m not your usual relationship guy. And I was so overwhelmed it stripped me from any reason. I... I ran away because I couldn’t contain it all in.”  </p><p>Adolin opened his mouth at his outburst, and backed away slightly. He was blushing too, Kaladin remarked. “How... Why didn’t you tell me that earlier?”  </p><p>“I didn’t know until now!” Kaladin’s heart was going to burst in his chest.  </p><p>“I-I thought I turned you off!” Adolin bellowed back. “I thought I was an idiot again, hurried the pace too much for your liking.”  </p><p>“I- It was too much at once.”  </p><p>“But ‘<em> see you then’  </em>is too general!” Adolin said again. He was blushing as much, if not more, than Kaladin himself.  </p><p>“Listen, I just, it’s not your fault,” Kaladin looked away. “I’m too fucked up, I know that. I humiliated you-”  </p><p>“You didn’t humiliate me.” Adolin trailed off.  </p><p>“I literally ran away, Adolin. I was a douche.” Kaladin crouched on the floor, holding his hair in fistfuls. “But there you had it. I was just... terrified of all of this.” </p><p>Adolin took a few steps near Kaladin and crouched beside him. “Are you now?”  </p><p>“Terrified?” Kaladin buried his face in his elbow. “No, just very humiliated. And pathetic.”  </p><p>Adolin groaned quietly and sat in front of him, quiet.  </p><p>“You could, you know, leave if you want,” Kaladin whispered. “I’m sorry again for embarrassing you. And making you feel like a prick.”  </p><p>“You... want me to leave?” Adolin asked in disbelief.  </p><p>“Why would you want to stay?”  </p><p>“What the fuck, because I like you?”  </p><p>Kaladin raised his eyes, narrowing them. “What?”  </p><p>“I like you.” Adolin dead-panned. “I fucking kissed you.”  </p><p>Kaladin blinked. “I know... and I ran like a coward. And you still like me?”  </p><p>“And I still like you.”  </p><p>Fuck, Adolin was strange and confusing. “Why are you not mad?”  </p><p>Adolin watched him, then cracked into his first grin of the day. “For someone so smart, you sure are an idiot.”  </p><p>Kaladin rolled his eyes.  </p><p>“Why do I still like you?” Adolin mused. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s like you said, I’ve seen past your hard exterior and I care?” he winked with that disarming smile of his.  </p><p>Kaladin pursed his lips in a resolute manner not to crumble at the sight of this man.  </p><p>“And I seem to remember you saying you liked me too?” Adolin added.  </p><p>Kaladin cleared his throat, looking the other direction and muttering. “Well... I guess I still like you too.”  </p><p>Adolin laughed with his beautiful voice. “Oh, It feels good to hear that from you.”  </p><p>Kaladin rolled his eyes again. “Fuck you.”  </p><p>“I will treasure it in my heart,” Adolin teased sweetly.  </p><p>Kaladin’s stomach cramped. They just admitted they liked each other, and all Kaladin could think of was Adolin’s smile, Adolin’s laugh. Adolin beside him, happy again. And it was suddenly sunny again.  </p><p>This was going too fast. But Kaladin’s hands tingled with anticipation.  </p><p>“I guess, then, my question is,” Adolin smiled warmly. “Would you like to go out with me?”  </p><p>There was it. The question Kaladin didn’t know the answer to. “This is... this is the first time I do this.”  </p><p>“With a man?” Adolin asked.  </p><p>“Yeah, and no,” Kaladin cleared his throat. “Like I said, I'm not your usual relationship guy. I had one girlfriend before and it lasted for two months. I could be an awful boyfriend.”  </p><p>“That’s fine, I'll teach you.”  </p><p>Kaladin grunted. “Adolin, didn’t you hear me earlier? I’m fucked up on the inside, are you sure you want to date <em> me </em>?” </p><p>“I do.” Adolin answered in a heartbeat. “Besides, we won’t know for sure until we try it out.”  </p><p>Kaladin slowly met Adolin’s eyes. “What if I ran away again?”  </p><p>Adolin grinned. “I will catch you and calm you down again.”  </p><p>Kaladin sighed with a shake of his head, a smile breaking out on his lips. It was hard not to smile around Adolin. “You speak as if you weren’t panicking a while ago.”  </p><p>“I only panicked because you looked like you were going to cry.”  </p><p>“I wasn’t going to cry, not even close.” Kaladin retorted.  </p><p>“It’s fine, Kaladin,” Adolin raised his hand to touch Kaladin’s face, but stopped. “Um, can I touch you?”  </p><p>“You don’t have to ask.” Kaladin grumbled. He was not used to it, but he missed Adolin’s touch on his hair.  </p><p>Adolin responded by tucking some unbrushed side hair behind Kaladin’s ear. “Like I was saying, it’s fine. I like you and I want to try this, together.” </p><p>Kaladin exhaled a big breath, feeling strangely at peace. “I want to... try it out too.”  </p><p>Adolin grinned. “It’ll be fun.”  </p><p>“It’ll actually be troublesome,” Kaladin countered. “I wasn’t planning for a relationship at the start of my first year.” </p><p>“Ah, the love.” Adolin said slyly.  </p><p>“Yeah, troublesome love.” Kaladin smirked.  </p><p>“We’ll work it out,” Adolin nodded and stood, offering a hand to Kaladin. “No big deal.”  </p><p>Kaladin took his hand and stood. His gaze met the floor again, his body shuffling giddily. That was it? They were suddenly boyfriends. His crush miraculously still liked him back despite all the trouble that Kaladin caused. When did Adolin took a liking to him anyway? Did it start back at the café?  </p><p>Kaladin raised his chin to ask Adolin, only to notice Adolin’s gaze was somewhere elsewhere. On his arms.  </p><p>“Eyes on my face, Adolin.” Kaladin scolded with a pinch to Adolin’s hand.  </p><p>“You’re wearing a sleeveless shirt, you’re in total display.” Adolin said with a sort of an admiring daze.  </p><p>“I am not in display!” Kaladin sniffed and walked around Adolin, putting his long-sleeved shirt on.  </p><p>“Your arms are great.” Adolin said with slight disappointment, then span on his heels and stood in place. Kaladin wasn’t sure what came next. Should he invite Adolin to sit? Actually, Kaladin had to study so he wanted to kick Adolin out right now. But he also wanted to stay a bit more in Adolin’s presence.  </p><p>Suddenly, a growl so loud sounded from within Kaladin. Kaladin’s stomach growled louder. He forgot that he was starving. Kaladin covered his stomach, embarrassed at the sounds.  </p><p>Kaladin only turned redder as Adolin burst out laughing, holding his own stomach. He wheezed sharply. “Oh poor you!” </p><p>“Don’t laugh!” Kaladin growled and coincidentally it sounded at the same time as the growl of his stomach.  </p><p>Adolin burst into another round of wild laugher, throwing his head back.  </p><p>One humiliation after another. Kaladin’s bad luck was a spectacular piece of theatre Adolin was going to partake in from a first row seat.  </p><p>“I see you’re hungry, eh?” Adolin grinned, ruffling Kaladin’s hair with his warm hand. Adolin’s own hair was messy and <em> perfect </em>.  </p><p>“I forgot to eat yesterday,” Kaladin grunted. “Between my classes and my traitorous mind, I had no more space for food.”  </p><p>Adolin sighed heavily. “That’s no good, Kaladin. From now on, you’re going to eat all your meals.”  </p><p>“You’re not my mother.”  </p><p>“Correct, I’m your boyfriend.” Adolin raised his eyebrows in triumph.  </p><p>Kaladin rolled his eyes. “Let’s just go get some food.”  </p><p>“The university cafeteria isn’t crowded at this time, good for us.” Adolin whipped out his phone, checking the menu on the school website. “Something with low calories, maybe...” He muttered pensively.  </p><p>“Adolin,” Kaladin called, to which Adolin hummed. “Let’s go to the café.”  </p><p>Adolin looked up. “Which one?”  </p><p>Kaladin pulled his hair in a ponytail, lips pulling to not quite a smile. It was a giddy first date request. “The one where we first met.”  </p><p>Adolin paused, then grinned and grabbed Kaladin’s hand in a hold. “Totally!”  </p><p>Kaladin felt queer holding Adolin’s hand so suddenly, the warmth seeping through between them. He stuttered, but shut his mouth as Adolin’s happiness seemed to radiate off of him, and Kaladin smiled.  </p><p>It was going to be so much fun.  </p><p>*** </p><p>Kaladin found himself wolfing down at pancakes. It was shameless, eating pancakes in front of someone who was dieting. But at the sight of Kaladin drooling at the food on the menu, Adolin called bull and insisted he eat what he wanted.  </p><p>“Are you,” Kaladin said after swallowing a mouthful, watching Adolin drink his coffee. “eating well?”  </p><p>“Yup, had my breakfast before coming to get you.” Adolin said, sipping.  </p><p>Kaladin stared at him. “If you’re lying...”  </p><p>“I ate, I swear,” Adolin chuckled. “I had morning practice so I ate well beforehand, and even after.” </p><p>“Practice on a Saturday morning?”  </p><p>“The gala is in three weeks, there’s not much time to prepare,” Adolin smiled.  </p><p>“You were perfect the other day!”  </p><p>“Far from it, Kal,” Adolin said, then paused his movement of tracing his finger on the cup. “Can I call you that?”  </p><p>Kaladin swallowed, and gave a nod. “Yeah, sure.” Adolin was asking a lot for Kaladin’s permission, which was really nice. But Kaladin had to wonder why.  </p><p>Adolin seemed to immediately lighten up. “As I was saying, it’s not just the music and dance moves we should get down. We have to check for absolutely no mistakes, and I had to supervise the choreography. And help with the outfits.” </p><p>“Wait,” Kaladin narrowed his eyes at Adolin. “You sew?”  </p><p>“Yeah,” Adolin grinned. “Charming, wouldn’t you say?”  </p><p>“Everything about you is charming.” Kaladin said in a daze, but then gulped his food down aggressively as he realized what he said. It just came out of his mouth. Just like that.  </p><p>Adolin stared at him, blinking and at a loss of words. Kaladin was at a loss too. He’d usually just reply dryly. What possessed him.  </p><p>“Please,” Adolin finally regained his wits. “Most of the team does the work. I just help.”  </p><p>Kaladin smiled. He cursed the time he thought Adolin was bratty and spoiled. Adolin was the opposite of that, no matter his background. “Still, it sounds like a lot of work.”  </p><p>“Yeah,” Adolin laughed. “Especially since I was off these past days. Sigzil lost his patience with me.”  </p><p>“Because... of, um, that?”  </p><p>“Please address our relationship properly.” Adolin snorted in amusement.  </p><p>Kaladin flushed. “It’s... quite hard. And um sorry about that again.”  </p><p>Adolin raised a dismissive hand. “No apologizing. It’s fine.”  </p><p>Kaladin still felt apologetic, but he let it go. He had to make it up for Adolin somehow though. “Sigzil knows, by the way.”  </p><p>“About us?” Adolin asked.  </p><p>“About the kiss, so you probably will get questioned when you next meet,” Kaladin shrugged a shoulder, smirking.  </p><p>“Gladly!” Adolin looked quite happy to be interrogated about him being boyfriends with Kaladin. Instead, it would have made Kaladin flush with embarrassment. “You know what, we go to the bar every Sunday evening. My friends and I. Come join us.”  </p><p>Kaladin grimaced. “I don’t want to be hungover on a Monday morning.” </p><p>“Oh come on, you don’t have to drink,” Adolin said, using his beautiful puppy eyes as a convincing method. And he damn well knew it.  </p><p>“Fine.” Kaladin said with a sigh. “I’ll regret this.” </p><p>“That is a terrible attitude for a boyfriend.” Adolin pointed a finger at him teasingly.  </p><p>Kaladin moved his finger away, smirking. “Well, I did say I was going to be terrible.”  </p><p>Adolin laughed.  </p><p>“But I'm curious,” Kaladin said. “What were you thinking when we met?”  </p><p>Adolin hummed in question.  </p><p>“You’re not tricking me with innocence. You were... eyeing me.”  </p><p>“Aaah,” Adolin smiled slyls. “What? Can’t I appreciate an attractive guy when I see one?”  </p><p>Kaladin shook his head. “Nonsense. I looked like death.” </p><p>“You are <em> handsome.”  </em>Adolin scolded a bit too hard, like he was personally offended. “God, I mean it when I say your body is good looking. And I wanted to touch your hair since that day, I was sure it was soft. It was.”  </p><p>Kaladin flushed. “Adolin, stop.”  </p><p>“And when I heard your voice?” Adolin continued dreamily. “Kal, I was a screaming maiden on the inside!” </p><p>“Adolin!” Kaladin ground out. “We’re in public!”  </p><p>Adolin smiled in response. “Oh Kal, you are a gem. You’re so smart-”  </p><p>Kaladin reached over and squeezed Adolin’s cheeks together, effectively shutting him up. He did it instinctively, not quite expecting Adolin to smirk at him. It was <em> that  </em>soul twisting smirk.  </p><p>Kaladin pulled away, looking down at his plate.  </p><p>“<em> And  </em>you’re strong too,” Adolin grinned, Kaladin could almost see the little hearts swim around Adolin’s head. “All of that aside though, I think we’d be really good for each other, you know?”  </p><p>He liked Kaladin that much? It was very hard to believe. Especially when Kaladin thought the same of Adolin. That feeling of liking someone and being liked back, for who he really was... it felt good. But it was really hard to believe.  </p><p>And yet, he wouldn’t trade it for anything else.  </p><p>*** </p><p>The bar in the evening was every bit as Kaladin hadn’t expected. It opened to plenty of tables on either side, and the bar at the front was quite crowded with people drinking either alone or together. The tables weren’t all full, thankfully, which meant it left some breathing space. Opposite to what Kaladin had expected, it was quite calm rather than booming with music. Instead, the music was kept to a faint volume.  </p><p>Adolin stepped forward, looking around for his friends. He was wearing baby blue crop top, and Kaladin thought of how much it complimented his eyes. How beautiful, gorgeous he walked sporting it. Kaladin almost felt unworthy, but he also was <em> Adolin’s </em> <em>  boyfriend </em>. </p><p>Kaladin tugged at his hand back, clearing his throat. “Do we... want to walk in hand in hand like this?” He thanked god it was dark so Adolin wouldn’t see his nervous expression.  </p><p>“Whoa,” Adolin said lightly. “Don’t be a prude, Kal.”  </p><p>Kaladin rolled his eyes. “I’m not... It’s just, things might be, going... too fast?” </p><p>“You think so?” Adolin stilled. “I just grabbed your hand out of nowhere, didn’t even think about it...” </p><p>Kaladin paused, then shrugged his shoulder. “It’s fine though. I might be... a bit of a prude. So it’s okay.”  </p><p>Adolin smiled, then a twinkle caught in his eyes as he spotted his friends. Shallan’s red hair was sorely obvious even in the darkness.  </p><p>“Hey,” Adolin couldn’t keep his grin off. Shallan immediately looked back at the sound of his voice, and spectacularly gasped. She began clapping her hands like a seal.  </p><p>“You’re together!” She exclaimed once they both got closer.  </p><p>“Who’s together?” Someone Kaladin didn’t recognize asked from the same table. </p><p>Kaladin neared and winced at her high-pitched voice. “Keep it down, will you?”  </p><p>“Oh, Adolin, this is so great,” Shallan ignored Kaladin’s grumpy comeback. “You’re together!”  </p><p>“You’re happy for us?” Adolin smiled.  </p><p>“I did say I was rooting for you guys,” She motioned to Kaladin with a smug look. “That’ so great.”  </p><p>“Ah,” Kaladin blinked. “That’s what you meant?”  </p><p>Shallan nodded her agreement.  </p><p>“So... I guess I do feel the air?” Kaladin cocked his head a bit, trying to catch up with her logic.  </p><p>Shallan bit on her lip and glanced at Adolin. “I think my humor broke him.”  </p><p>Ishnah smiled from Shallan’s other side.  </p><p>Adolin slid in the seat next to her, to which Kaladin gladly followed and sat next to him. “He’s a gem.”  </p><p>“So wait, you two are really dating?” Jakamav asked from the other side of the table. “I thought you and Shallan...”  </p><p>Shallan snorted, and Adolin wheezed, trying to speak. “We’re not like <em> that </em>. I mean, sure, there was potential,” Adolin then hastily raised their linked hands. “Kal’s my boyfriend.”  </p><p>Before Kaladin could get a word in about the Shallan stuff, reactions from the rest were instantaneous.  </p><p>“<em> Kal </em>,” Sigzil remarked from beside Kaladin, to which Kaladin looked away. “Interesting.” </p><p>Kaladin eyed the two young women beside Jakamav. Kaladin assumed they were sisters.  </p><p>“Ah, that’s Venli and Eshonai,” Adolin said, to which the two simply nodded their heads. “The university’s models.”  </p><p>“Models?” The bartender put down their drinks, to which Kaladin gladly took a sip of. “Are they in the dance team too?”  </p><p>“Oh no,” Eshonai said. She was most likely the friendlier of the two sisters while Venli just muttered ‘me, a dancer?’. “Shallan and Adolin promised us to work on our next designs.” </p><p>“My sketches are done, by the way,” Shallan grinned. “It was fun drawing clothes for a change. I’m leaving the rest to Adolin.” </p><p>Adolin high-fived Shallan. “Good job.”  </p><p>Kaladin glanced at Adolin, now <em> really  </em>worrying about his workload. Sure, Kaladin overworked himself to oblivion, but Adolin here was... concerning. It didn’t look like anyone was forcing him, but Adolin was definitely forcing himself.  </p><p>Kaladin remained silent and observing for the most part of their stay. The alcohol was good, made him feel slightly better by lessening his worries. Besides, Kaladin liked hearing Adolin talk and chat with his friends. They spoke of the gala and how the preparations were going, Jakamav and Adolin discussed the details of the choreography, even outside practice hours. Kaladin felt a pang at his chest, but quickly ignored it. He focused on the part where he learned that Adolin made the choreography, by himself. To Kaladin’s knowledge, that was very hard to pull. </p><p>Adolin pulled Kaladin in the conversation from time to time, which Kaladin appreciated. Adolin –his boyfriend, he still couldn’t believe it- was opening his world to him.  </p><p>And Kaladin wanted to abandon his own world behind and just be pulled in to Adolin’s. It was much more fun, much more interesting, and he the giddy feeling in his chest never abandoned him when he hung around Adolin.  </p><p>Kaladin sighed, sipping at his glass. He was still sober, fortunately, but he felt slightly warm. How many glasses did he have anyway? </p><p>“Kal?” Adolin waved his hand in front of Kaladin’s eyes. “You might want to snap out of it.” He smiled fondly.  </p><p>Kaladin stared at him, admiring his long eye-lashes. “I think I should take my leave.”  </p><p>“Hm?” Adolin hummed. “Yeah, it’s late, we should probably clock out.”  </p><p>“Let’s go,” Kaladin dragged out the word funnily, and Adolin giggled in response. “I have morning classes tomorrow.” </p><p>“Tonight was fun,” Adolin grinned with a wave, to which everyone else returned. Jakamav, Sigzil and the sisters had already taken their leave. “You should probably head back too.” </p><p>“Mmh,” Shallan sounded from behind, smiling drunkily.  </p><p>“The night air is cold,” Adolin shivered.  </p><p>“It’s cause you’re wearing a crop top,” Kaladin remarked, taking in Adolin’s face.  </p><p>“They’re my thing,” Adolin shrugged lightly.  </p><p>“They’re my thing too,” Kaladin murmured underneath his breath, taking off his jacket and handing it to Adolin. “Wear this.”  </p><p>“What?” Adolin blushed. “You’ll be cold.”  </p><p>“I’m not cold,” Kaladin forced it on him. “And I'm lucky the dorms are only a walk away.  </p><p>Adolin shrugged it on in a hesitant manner. What was he so hesitant for? “Thanks.” He said around his blush. “do you mind if we... if we held hands?”  </p><p>Kaladin narrowed his eyes. “You’re asking for my permission again?”  </p><p>Adolin pursed his lips. “I don’t want to be, um, too fast paced for you.”  </p><p>“What is ‘fast paced’?” Kaladin asked, holding Adolin’s hand as they walked past the seminars area.  </p><p>“I actually... don’t know?” Adolin chuckled. “I mean, things that should be taken seriously and given more thought into. I tend to do that kind of stuff by instinct. I’m a touchy guy, so...”  </p><p>“You can keep asking,” Kaladin squeezed his hand. “But as much as you want to take care of me, I... I want to take care of you too.” There was a feeling of detachment to that statement, because Kaladin wouldn’t normally say that so casually.  </p><p>Which was why Adolin turned to him, wide-eyed and speechless. “I-”  </p><p>“You keep overworking yourself, it’s... worrying.” Kaladin said.  </p><p>“You worry me all the time too,” Adolin retorted. “Literally staying in the library till 1 am.”  </p><p>“But that’s like, my thing,” Kaladin said, it was unreasonable but also true. Adolin hastened to counter that statement, but Kaladin continued. “Your thing is being cheerful and beautiful. Your thing is all about being sunshiny.”  </p><p>Adolin halted at the entrance of the dorms, blinking violently as Kaladin’s words settled in the air between them. “Sunshiny?” He whispered, eyes starstruck.  </p><p>Kaladin held his cheek and locked their lips together.  </p><p>They were perfect, those lips of his. Kaladin swiftly kissed him sloppily in all his slight drunkenness and inexperience. Adolin was shocked at first, but then held Kaladin’s shirt with strong fistfuls and guided their kiss. Kaladin knocked his tooth into Adolin’s, whined and parted. Adolin laughed at his clumsiness and pulled him once again as their breath meshed in together as one.  </p><p>Out of breath, Kaladin parted again, and looked into Adolin’s eyes, finding himself smiling. “Yeah, sunshiny.”  </p><p>Adolin’s breath caught, then his lips split into a smile too. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wooo!! I love writing about these soft boys and i hope you liked reading about them in this chapter too. Chapter 3 marks many things of which we're going to explore, which is why i decided to write 6 or 7 chapters, rather than the planned 5. There's PLOT and cute moments we're going to explore, so buckle up tight! </p><p>Also, for the readers who are looking forward to seeing the spren characters, i'm sorry to say that i will most likely not include in this as students :( It's true that i included the singers along with the humans, but to me, spren are ancient beings and they are... them. I can't imagine Syl not being blue, or Pattern not being a Pattern, or any other spren outside of their original forms &gt;&lt; i'm really sorry if you looked forward to them in this au. </p><p>Comments are always always appreciated, thank you always for reading and giving the time to read this. I just hope it gives you smiles by the end of every chapter. Life before Death!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Apodyopsis</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>apodyopsis (greek): the act of mentally undressing someone.</p><p>Constructive criticism is always appreciated.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Want me to quiz you?” Adolin asked as he plopped down his own book on the table. Kaladin glanced over to him between his bangs which fell over his eyes. His hair was getting annoyingly longer.  </p><p>Kaladin fixed Adolin with a strict gaze. He knew this would happen. Adolin would get bored and their date -if a library date even were a date- would be ruined. Kaladin caught him dozing off at one point in the past hour.  </p><p>“Don’t look at me like that, Kal,” Adolin teased, looking up at Kaladin through his eyelashes.  </p><p>“But I was right,” Kaladin said smugly, eyes back on his papers.  </p><p>“I’m not bored though!”  </p><p>“Your eyes are half open-”  </p><p>“That’s because I'm sick with your love.” Adolin grinned smugly just as Kaladin reddened, his eyebrows drawn in a close furrow.  </p><p>Kaladin’s hand moved before he could stop himself, smacking Adolin’s head with a stack of papers. Catching him off guard like that in public was dangerous. Adolin was dangerous. </p><p>Adolin groaned playfully then broke into a quiet laughter. Kaladin bit back a smile, chest constricting at the melodic sound. Okay, he was right about Adolin getting bored, but he was wrong about not being cheered up in his presence. A win-lose situation, if one could say that.  </p><p>For the past week though, Adolin’s presence in his life always cheered him up, made him want to be better. Kaladin hadn’t missed a meal once, thanks to Adolin’s over caring nature. When Kaladin showed terrible boyfriend attitude, which was more than often, Adolin gently set him straight and forced him to care for himself. He bought him food, kept him company when Kaladin stressed himself over trivial matters, like when Kaladin was too tired to brush his own hair or drowned himself in lectures.  </p><p>Adolin was always there, making time for Kaladin. Putting a smile on Kaladin’s face. One could say Adolin was much more of a mother hen than a boyfriend, but that just added salt to Kaladin’s wounded pride. He was just happy to be showered with Adolin’s love. </p><p>“Really though, I can never study for hours like you,” Adolin said. “How do you do it?” </p><p>Kaladin shrugged. “Well, the stress is a factor for it, I guess.”  </p><p>“Go you,” Adolin watched Kaladin, still leaning on the table. Then he said, “I can’t believe my plan didn’t work.” </p><p>“You had a plan?” Kaladin raised an eyebrow.  </p><p>“I was pretty sure you’d get tired of studying, focus on me and then escort me out with the hormones pumping you.”  </p><p>The way it was said so shamelessly... Kaladin rolled his eyes. But he was amused, he’ll give Adolin that. “You’re shameless.”  </p><p>Adolin winked with no comment.  </p><p>Kaladin was getting used to Adolin’s affectionate gestures, but he still froze whenever he winked. There was something about the way he did it. “Though, would you be intrigued if it were the opposite?” Kaladin said. “Like, if I tried to interrupt your practice with this same plan of yours.”  </p><p>Adolin looked up, a stupid grin on his face. “Would you? Way to ruin the surprise Kal.”  </p><p>“No.” Kaladin deadpanned. “I’m just saying, hypothetically.”  </p><p>“Oh fuck, yes,” Adolin said. “I’m melting just thinking about it.”  </p><p>Kaladin looked up for a moment, pausing his highlighting on the papers. He didn’t quite expect that. “Really?”  </p><p>“Hmm,” Adolin said enthusiastically. “It doesn’t sound like something you’d do, but it’s cute and intriguing.”  </p><p>“I-” Kaladin swallowed. “I wouldn’t really... I mean, wouldn’t you find it annoying? No offense but you would be immersed in your practice.”  </p><p>“Well yeah, but there’s a certain tension to it. If done with the right spice, if you know what I mean.” Adolin was still lost in his head, imagining stuff.  </p><p>“I still wouldn’t do it,” Kaladin laid his cheek on his hand, looking down at Adolin. “I kinda  don’t get that kind of stuff?” </p><p>Adolin watched him. “What do you mean?”  </p><p>“Um,” Kaladin cleared his throat, eyes blanking out as he thought of a right way to explain. “I mean, I think I understand the appeal, kind of. But I'm just not made for those kinds of surprises. I just... when I see you dance, I don’t think of it sexually, I don’t want to pine you down, or ‘feel the hormones kicking’ as you phrased it.” Kaladin let out a soft laugh, because lately, laughing felt so free and easy. “I... I worry you’re going to expect more than I can give.”  </p><p>“Whoa, hey,” Adolin sat up properly, comprehension settling on his face. “It’s okay, Kal. I understand.” </p><p>“Do you though?” Kaladin pursed his lips, avoiding Adolin’s eyes. This was who Kaladin was. They might’ve joked about him being a prude, but at the core of his being, this was him. He wasn’t broken or abnormal, or incapable of feelings. No. He loved Adolin, he liked kissing Adolin. But he wasn’t the craziest about sex.  But what if Adolin thought he was incapable of love? What if Adolin deemed him unworthy of himself? What if he didn’t mean his reassurances?  </p><p>“Of course, hey,” Adolin’s thumb rubbed small circles on Kaladin’s hand, easing up the fist it had formed. Kaladin hadn't realized he was so tense. “That’s completely okay. We’re taking it slowly, and we’re doing whatever the both of us feel comfortable doing. Besides It’s not like I'm a sex animal.” Adolin smiled, attempting a joke to ease Kaladin’s tension.  </p><p>Kaladin looked him in the eyes, and said in a quiet voice, “Yeah, but I'm a prude.”  </p><p>Adolin shook his head. “That’s simply a term of endearment, Kal. You can be whoever you want to be, whoever you <em> are </em>. I dated plenty of people who were uncomfortable with touch and, at times” Adolin looked around, noting their environment, “sexual intercourse.”  </p><p>Kaladin snorted under his breath. Sometimes, Adolin would show his endearing sides at the most unexpected times.  </p><p>Kaladin stood swiftly, leaving his books scattered around the desk and pocketing his phone. “Let’s talk somewhere else. In a more controlled environment.”  </p><p>Adolin followed after him, but made sure to grab his hand as they walked out of the library. Kaladin’s spiking anxiety took a halt, his chest instead warming up at the gesture. They didn’t walk far, but rather settled on a bench next to the university’s library. The grass was beginning to turn orange, flowers closing on their petals, signaling the coming of autumn. It was as much privacy as they could ask for. Kaladin pulled his lips to a line, just as Adolin put a hand on their handholding, smoothening Kaladin’s strong grip.  </p><p>“Kal,” Adolin called gently. “Before you say anything, I want to say that I like you for who you are. <em> All  </em>of who you are. That includes your asexuality.” </p><p>Whoa. Kaladin avoided eye-contact immediately. “Do you?” </p><p>Adolin nodded. “Yes, and I won’t force you or ponder for something that isn’t... you. Us.” </p><p>Kaladin smiled, and it was the easiest smile he’d shown in a while. The sort of smile that broke on your face before realization hit. “That assures me a lot. Because, to be real, you’re the best relationship I've been in, uhm... Ever.” Kaladin laughed under his breath. “My previous relationship can't even count as a relationship, to be honest.”  </p><p>Adolin returned the smile, a blush decorating his smitten expression.  </p><p>“I just... want to live up to your expectations, because a relationship comes two ways,” Kaladin allowed himself to share more, he knew Adolin was listening. “I want to be a good partner, someone you can rely on too, when you want. But I'm not going to force myself on stuff I know don’t like,” Kaladin regarded him seriously. “That’s something I promised myself, Adolin.” </p><p>Adolin nodded back, as serious as Kaladin himself in this situation. “And I completely respect that.” </p><p>This was... going well. Kaladin almost felt like this was going too well, too easy. “But, um, we’ve only been dating for a short time, yet you’ve been helping me out more than I deserve,” Kaladin flushed, sighing. “It’s like you know exactly what I need at times. You look out for me and keep me company. And... I haven’t done a thing.” </p><p>Adolin raised an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t say that, Kal. You’ve been good for me too.”  </p><p>“Oh, really?” Kaladin rolled his eyes. “You’re bullshitting. I’m self-centered and I whine more than I deserve to.”  </p><p>Adolin laughed. “You say that because you’re in your head too much, it’s only natural that you wouldn’t realize your good deeds. After all, you’re so hard on yourself and always want to help more and more and <em> more </em>.”  </p><p>Kaladin opened his mouth to counter that argument, but found himself speechless. That sounded... accurate. Did Adolin just open Kaladin’s eyes to the actual problem? </p><p>“You’ve been asking for my health all day every day,” Adolin said, giving examples to Kaladin. “You’ve been complimenting my dances lines even though you have no idea what dance lines are.” Kaladin blushed. “And you’re always opening your arms for me because you know I need a hug at the end of the day. And you hug me, and hold me, despite not being a hugger yourself.”  </p><p>Kaladin stared at Adolin, at a loss of words. Why was Adolin so full of words, and Kaladin so bad at them? Why... Why was this communication going so well?  </p><p>Oh fuck. Oh fuck. This was going well.  </p><p>“But...” Kaladin grasped around, trying to find something wrong in the conversation. “But I have so many faults in me. I... I don’t even brush my hair without you reminding me.” </p><p>Adolin grinned slyly. “Oh fuck, that. But you forgot the worst fault you have,”  </p><p>Kaladin froze up, awaiting.  </p><p>“You have <em> no  </em>fashion sense, Kaladin!” Adolin shoved Kaladin away dramatically yet also gently. “Absolutely zero. You always wear black hoodies, even when there’s a smudge on them. One of these days I'm going to snap and remodel your wardrobe.” Adolin grinned mischievously. “You’re dating a fashion major, you asked for this.” </p><p>Kaladin stared some more, then burst out into a full laugh. He threw his head back and laughed so hard, he forgot the last time he was this happy to laugh. Adolin was so good for him. <em> So  </em>good. </p><p>He wiped his eyes as he calmed down. “Fuck you, Adolin Kholin.” </p><p>“Have you fallen for me, Kal?” Adolin asked teasingly, grin all pretty and happy. And Adolin should be happy, because this was... this was good.  </p><p>“Yes,” Kaladin answered with a smile that threatened to split his lips apart. “From the moment you danced for me, you dumbass. I fell in love with you.”  </p><p>Adolin said nothing, but returned the smile and leaned into Kaladin, giggling himself. Kaladin wrapped an arm around his shoulders, a hold so warm and full. And they were so happy.  </p><p>So they sat there for a few more minutes, basking in each other’s laughs, the soft wind brushing their hair.  </p><p>*** </p><p>Kaladin walked with a thrum to his step, his beating heart the leading symphony. He’d thought his visit over for the hundredth time and worried he was overdoing it, or worse, making Adolin expect more than he was willing to offer. But he powered through, numbing his mind to his overthinking and drowning the thought. This was a relationship, the best one he’d had since... ever. The best one he’d ever dreamed of having.  </p><p>Trying to remember the practice room Adolin had led them to last time proved to be easy. Kaladin had a good sense of direction, perhaps due to his quick wit in case of urgency. What kind of useless boyfriend would he be if Adolin wound up calling him for help and Kaladin arrived late because he forgot which room he usually practiced in?  </p><p>Kaladin stood right outside the practice room door, checking the time. Adolin would have been just about done today, but he always liked to stay overtime. In the span of the last two weeks, Kaladin had learned that Adolin was quite stubborn himself. He didn’t aggravate towards the same unhealthy tendencies as Kaladin, but he <em> was  </em>harsh on himself. This gala might mean more to Adolin than Kaladin ever thought. </p><p>Kaladin opened the door, and a pair of giggling voices greeted him immediately. Kaladin raised an eyebrow at the scene.  </p><p>“It has a big ass,” Shallan exploded in another round of giggles, eyes shut and form splattered on the floor. She was laying on her back, face as red as her hair from laughter. “Use your imagination, I'm telling you.”  </p><p>Adolin was stuck in a fit of laughter himself, laying down beside Shallan, eyes closed. “You’re really something else. How can a <em> cloud  </em>look sexy?”  </p><p>“I’m telling you, if you put your mind to it, you <em> can  </em>see it,” Shallan insisted, grin stupidly wide.  </p><p>“You know, people usually see their dreams in the form of clouds sometimes,” Adolin said. “Not ass.”  </p><p>“Who said eating ass wasn’t one of my dreams?!” Shallan sat up and swatted playfully at Adolin’s arm, sending him into a second fury of laughter.  </p><p>“What,” Kaladin rubbed the bridge of his nose, “are you two doing?”  </p><p>“Oh,” Shallan, finally having noticed they weren’t speaking so discreetly anymore, turned even redder at Kaladin’s entrance. “Um, wow. I am done for.”  </p><p>“Oh, Kal,” Adolin grinned from his position on the floor, tear tracks clear on his face. “Apparently, Shallan has a <em> wild  </em>imagination.”  </p><p>Shallan seemed embarrassed, then her lips split into a lopsided grin, as if she didn’t care anymore. “I’m not a weirdo, I promise.”  </p><p>“I’ll take your word for that,” Kaladin walked in, but loomed a distance away from them. “I’m sure I wasn’t interrupting something important, but it’s still an interruption so-”  </p><p>“Kal wait up, have a seat,” Adolin sat up. “You weren’t interrupting. We were just doing a visualisation training.”  </p><p>Kaladin grimaced.  </p><p>“My image is ruined in your mind isn’t it?” Shallan asked sheepishly, to which Kaladin simply nodded. </p><p>“Actually, we were doing a visualisation training for my dance routine. And then Shallan was introducing Jasnah’s theory for spatial learning. And then.... well, I don’t know how but we ended up imagining a cloud’s ass?”  </p><p>“An ass as a cloud, Adolin dear,” Shallan corrected.  </p><p>Adolin looked at her with a stare that wasn’t all convinced but was supportive nonetheless. “Yes, that.” </p><p>“Did you know that if two close people closed their eyes and tried to imagine something together, they could see it?” Shallan grinned.  </p><p>“So much to ask here,” Kaladin took a seat on the floor, delighting at Adolin’s smile in his direction. “You rounded down that theory into imagining ass with Adolin?” </p><p>“He’s my best friend. Plus, he asked,” Shallan said.  </p><p>“Correction, I asked you to lay down with me while I try to get down my dance routine into memory.” Adolin said as Shallan shrugged in response.  </p><p>“And who’s this Jasnah?” Kaladin asked again.  </p><p>“My mentor,” Shallan said delightfully. “Though she is working on her doctorate here as well. I still can’t believe she took me under her wing as her student. While I think she might be a bit stoic at times, she’s delightful in her own way.” </p><p>“If we’re talking ‘delightful’ you should see Elhokar,” Adolin chuckled under his breath.  </p><p>“Who?” Kaladin and Shallan asked at the same time.  </p><p>“Jasnah’s younger brother,” Adolin then looked at Kaladin. “For context, they’re my cousins. Jasnah’s a professor, Elhokar is doing his masters. He’s...” Adolin shook his head. “Elhokar.”  </p><p>Kaladin nodded narrowing his eyes in thought. “Your whole family studies here?” It seemed a bit of an extravagance to Kaladin.  </p><p>“What do you mean?” Shallan looked between the two, her red curly hair waving back and forth. “You haven’t told him?” </p><p>“Told me what?” Kaladin furrowed his eyebrows.  </p><p>Adolin smiled thinly, looking down guiltily. “My family <em> funds  </em>this University. My aunt’s the principal?” </p><p>Oh. Kaladin regarded Adolin suspiciously, waiting for the punchline to hit. When Adolin remained silent, Kaladin realized there was actually no punchline.  </p><p>Oh.  </p><p>“You <em> are  </em>a spoiled princeling.” Kaladin said his thoughts out-loud, leading to Shallan exploding into a fit of laughter.  </p><p>“Excuse you?” Adolin’s expression turned insulted, but it was nothing more than a gentle banter exchange.  </p><p>“I’m dating the principal’s nephew?” Kaladin asked himself, out-loud once again. </p><p>“Ehem,” Shallan interjected, chin resting on her palms. “You’re technically dating the principal’s step-son. Principal Navani is married to Adolin’s father.”  </p><p>Kaladin all but stared incredulously at Adolin. As for Adolin, it seemed to be the biggest embarrassment of his life.  </p><p>“Wait,” Kaladin said, scrunching up his nose. “I’m also rooming with the principal’s nephew? Does everyone know? Why did no one tell me?”  </p><p>“Oh, I need to draw this, this is hilarious!” Shallan said as her hands grasped at her drawing tools.  </p><p>“Shallan!” Adolin scolded, red swarming his face. He was pretty.  </p><p>“Eyes on me Adolin,” Kaladin said again, turning Adolin’s gaze on him. “Why did you never tell me?” </p><p>“I-” Adolin cleared his throat. “It’s not like it’s a secret. But, well, you seemed clueless and I wanted to keep it that way,”  </p><p>“Why?” Kaladin asked again. Adolin was being uncharacteristically fidgety.  </p><p>“Shallan,” Adolin addressed Shallan with a shoo expression. “Privacy, please.”  </p><p>“Oh, dear,” Shallan caught on and glanced between the two men. “Right, right. Privacy. Got it. Just remember, do not waver in the face of storms, for storms have no faces. Good luck.”  </p><p>Kaladin didn’t even try to decipher the meaning, or lack of meaning, of what Shallan attempted to say. It was but a futile effort on his part.  </p><p>Adolin watched Shallan leave with his eyes, took a good minute, then reached for Kaladin’s hands first to hold them. Kaladin felt a swell in his heart, returning the gesture right away. He was quickly learning Adolin showed his affection by touch before speaking. Though he was great at both. Kaladin, on the other hand, sucked at both. </p><p>“I just...” Adolin said, cleared his throat and started again. “Like I said, it’s not a secret. At first, I thought you already knew since you’re rooming with Renarin. In fact, I thought that was the reason you avoided me so much.  </p><p>“But then, I asked Renarin and he confirmed you didn’t know about that. I was... relieved. I didn’t want to give you further reason to hate me. Or anything.” </p><p>Granted, Kaladin had accused Adolin of being spoiled. But he still had to ask, “Why did you think I'd hate you?” </p><p>“I was crushing on you, I didn’t want to do anything wrong. You seemed the type of person who disliked people who ‘get off easy’. You just give off that aura.” Adolin paused, a smile stretching on his lips. “You care so much but don’t show it often, and I... I was enticed by that, Kal. I just didn’t want to ruin your image of me before anything sparked between us.”  </p><p>Kaladin listened intently, guilt gnawing at his chest. Adolin wasn’t completely off there, Kaladin did made a basic judgement on Adolin -and by extension, Renarin’s- social standing. Though, was it so wrong for Adolin to be spoiled? </p><p>Kaladin desired to spoil Adolin until the man was fed up.  </p><p>… Granted, he wasn’t good at expressing his feelings, let alone spoil him. </p><p>“Wait...” Kaladin said, remembering their first conversation back at the café. “So Urithiru uni being able to fund this gala... was that you pulling strings with familial bonds?” </p><p>“Kind... of,” Adolin admitted, but his eyes gained a new sparkle of confidence in them. “I wasn’t playing dirty. The dance department had been experiencing some lack of interest from the administration. Students weren’t enrolling as much as in the other majors. So I proposed the idea of a gala, to raise money and at the same time offer scholarships to the disabled and students who can’t afford pursuing dance. It <em> is  </em>a very looked down upon major, I know that first hand.” </p><p>Adolin sighed, shaking his head. The sparkle in his eyes had dimmed, as it was only focused on his advocacy for his  love and passion for dance. For believing in the thrill of it. Kaladin shared the sentiment, for he had fallen for the way Adolin’s body flowed with the beat.  </p><p>“I’m being lame, I know,” Adolin pursed his lips. “But I truly didn’t want you to dislike me. I’m pushy as it is, I can be extremely flirty and I realize that doesn’t work with everybody.” He laughed under his breath, then repeated in the faintest of voices. “I just really wanted us to be a thing. And I didn’t want your vision be tainted by my family.” </p><p>It wasn’t just Kaladin who worried about their relationship. It wasn’t just Kaladin who worried himself silly, overthinking his personality. Adolin was worried this whole time about his background. And just then, it hit Kaladin that was the reason Adolin asked for his consent so much. He hadn’t wanted to make Kaladin uncomfortable.  </p><p>Which was stupid. If he talked it out with Kaladin, he would realize Kaladin wouldn’t do him so dirty. But Kaladin was a hypocrite himself, for talking it out wasn’t Kaladin’s first solution to easing his mind either.  </p><p>“Maybe you’re right,” Kaladin said after a good minute of thought. “I would have had a problem with that.” </p><p>Adolin’s face fell, but he immediately covered it up with a small smile, his eyes dreading the next words to come. </p><p>“But I would have made the biggest mistake of my life.” Kaladin admitted, squeezing Adolin’s hands in his. Adolin’s heartbeat thrummed through his wrists, Kaladin feeling it through his thumbs. “I wouldn’t have gotten to know you, and I would still be in my room, completely oblivious to the sweet, gentle, talented dancer in this practice room.”  </p><p>Adolin’s eyes lit up, his hands still as stone in Kaladin’s hold.  </p><p>Kaladin smiled. “I told you, you’re the best person to happen to me in a long time. And I fell in love with you.” He devoured Adolin’s smile with his lips, planting a soft peck on them. Then parted and kissed Adolin’s cheek for that show of affection Kaladin was lacking at. He promised himself to improve. </p><p>“Besides,” Kaladin added, drinking in the sight of a wide-eyed, blushing Adolin. A sight to behold. “There’s nothing wrong with being a spoiled princeling.” </p><p>Adolin laughed, face still red. “Really?”  </p><p>Kaladin simply smiled, the warmth in his chest never once leaving him. He liked the feel of Adolin’s hands in his own, the shared looks and words. He liked this. And he could definitely get used to it. </p><p>“is that why this gala is so important for you?” Kaladin asked Adolin instead. When Adolin looked at him quizzically, Kaladin continued. “You work so hard. Not only do you have two majors, but you also work very hard at dance practice, you have a sewing project too. And... you’re overworking. Is it because your family looks down on you?” Kaladin frowned.  </p><p>Adolin turned his lips down. “Not really, I mean... it’s my father. Just my father. He has expectations, much higher expectations than I could fathom to meet. I don’t really have the right to complain, not with the way Renarin has it worse. But my father expressed his disinterest multiple times in my passions.” </p><p>Kaladin nodded, sighing loudly. He was familiar with that line of thinking. His own father took pride in his son getting into medschool, but he had turned his lips downward whenever Kaladin talked behind superiors or expressed dislike in schools. His father was a heavy pacifist, deeply believing that the government always knew better.  </p><p>“You father’s an idiot,” Kaladin offered simply. “Full offense.”  </p><p>Adolin grinned back, chuckling. “I mean, you’re right. That’s why... I want to prove him there’s something meaningful in what I do. He doesn’t have to agree with me, but I want him to at least acknowledge my dance.” </p><p>“You can do it,” Kaladin answered truthfully. “I don’t see how anyone wouldn’t be enticed by your moves. You’ve got me wrapped around your pinky finger, and I'm a <em> prude </em>.” </p><p>Adolin sighed a smile, his shoulders easing down. “Thank you, Kal. I... Thank you.”  </p><p>He looked Kaladin some more, then scooted over closer to him, their knees bumping together. “What are you doing here, by the way? I thought you had a hangout with the Fourth floor?” Adolin wiggled his eyebrows, as if teasing the name. </p><p>“I ditched them,” Kaladin fought a smile, “for my very pretty boyfriend in the practice room. I thought I'd come see you.”  </p><p>“See, you <em> are  </em>good at surprises.”  </p><p>“Hmm, but you somehow have outdone me. What is this about imagining ass with Shallan?”  </p><p>Adolin rolled his eyes comically. “Oh, don’t remind me. We were being goofy. Shallan... Ugh, I'm like platonically in love with her.” </p><p>“Oof, should I be worried?” Kaladin said.  </p><p>Adolin snorted. “Nah, not when you look like this.” He reached a hand and tussled with Kaladin’s loose hair. “You didn’t tie it up today.”  </p><p>“Well, I'm glad you delight in it.”  </p><p>“Very. I do like it very much loose.”  </p><p>Kaladin watched Adolin run his fingers through his hair, receiving compliments for actually brushing it. That was a step forward, if Kaladin had to say so himself. It’s as if he decided he wanted to be a better person the moment Adolin swooped in. Was this what it meant like to be in love?  </p><p>“So, um...” Kaladin caught himself staring, then cleared his throat. “Visualisation training?”  </p><p>“My limbs hurt after practice and I was bored,” Adolin explained. “Oh, want to try it with me? Here, lay down.”  </p><p>“The moment I close my eyes, my mind will be plagued with my medical notes.” Kaladin said, earning himself a playful shove from Adolin.  </p><p>“Come on, just try for me,” Adolin was already laying down, so Kaladin did the same. “Now close your eyes.”  </p><p>Kaladin stole a quick glance of Adolin’s side profile, then turned his gaze back up to the ceiling. The moment he closed his eyes, Adolin’s fingers had threaded between his own, searching for a handhold. He returned the handholding, his own heartbeat drumming in his ears, accompanied with Adolin’s own softer heartbeat resonating from his wrist.  </p><p>“Wanna imagine a cloud’s ass?” Adolin said, nothing but a whisper in the darkness.  </p><p>“Fuck off.” Kaladin overrode a laugh bubbling up his throat, but the grin on his face was very much real. Adolin laughed too, music to Kaladin’s ears.  </p><p>“What do you see, Kal?” Adolin asked a few seconds later. </p><p>“Aren’t we supposed to be quiet for this?” Kaladin said.  </p><p>“Yeah. But I mean, no.” Adolin stumbled on his words, the mid annoyance clear in his tone. “I’m your boyfriend, you’re supposed to want to hear me talk.”  </p><p>“Ah,” Kaladin said. “Is this the bad attitude we’ve promised to address?”  </p><p>“Yes, Kal, you heartbreaker.” </p><p><em> He’s so cute.  </em>Kaladin realized his cheeks were hurting from smiling so big. Why did Adolin have any business being this lovely? Why has Kaladin being picturing him this entire time? Why wasn’t his mind plagued with his study notes instead?  </p><p>Oh, fuck. Kaladin’s heart beat even faster.  </p><p>“You.” Kaladin said around an exhale. “I see you.” </p><p>“Me?”  </p><p>“I see you dancing, on the beach, waves way below your knees. The sunset a soft afterglow with your skin, and...” Kaladin let out a laugh. “And you’re dancing, and laughing and existing. So pretty and dear, like a precious pebble found in the sand. Or a precious, colorful rock I tucked away.” </p><p>“Kal...”  </p><p>“And, Adolin...” Kaladin squeezed Adolin’s hand tighter, the warmth of it seeping in his body. “There’s sunshine all around you. So blinding and pretty. And there’s sunshine in your eyes too, warming me up from the inside out.”  </p><p>Kaladin turned to look at Adolin, their eyes meeting. Soft blue eyes locked with his brown ones. Adolin had the audacity to look surprised, stunned, as if he didn’t realize the preciousness of his soul before. Kaladin wished he could fix that.  </p><p>“And what did you see?” Kaladin asked, drinking in Adolin’s face.  </p><p>“I think I saw us,” Adolin said, eyes locked with Kaladin. “I saw us being us. Drinking at the bar, having dates at cafes and libraries, stealing kisses in hallways.” A smile broke on his face. “That sounds lame after you’d put so many words together, I know. I can’t believe you think you’re bad with words. You’ve made my heart skip many beats.”  </p><p>Kaladin shook his head. “No, it’s only because it’s you I'm talking about.”  </p><p>Adolin smiled wider and broke into a small laugh. “Oh Kal. I think I <em> love  </em>you.”   </p><p>Kaladin froze, taking in the words that just came tumbling out of Adolin.  </p><p>Adolin loved him? The broken, messed-up Kaladin? It was a difficult concept to grasp, but Kaladin’s heart swelled with that sentence. Maybe Kaladin was worthy of love too. Maybe he deserved to be appreciated, cared for, and loved by Adolin Kholin.  </p><p>“Really?” Kaladin asked anyways, wanting –needing- to hear that confirmation.  </p><p>“Yeah,” Adolin raised their interlocked hands and kissed Kaladin’s knuckles. “I love you.”  </p><p>Kaladin melted right that instant. And for that moment, right there and then, his heart eased with the confirmation that, yes, indeed, Adolin loved him.  </p><p>Adolin turned to look back up at the ceiling, closing his eyes. “I like this visualisation training.” He was blushing.  </p><p>Kaladin looked back at the ceiling too, closing his eyes too. “Me too.”  </p><p>And Kaladin tried to visualize Adolin’s imagination of them drinking at the bar, having dates at cafes and libraries, stealing kisses in hallways. </p><p>*** </p><p>Kaladin’s heart was still beating hard, despite him excusing himself to the bathroom. Adolin was still waiting in the practice room, having promised they’d walk back to the dorms together.  </p><p>Kaladin washed his face, fighting the smile off his lips. He actually couldn’t stop smiling. His face muscles were strained from the excess smiling.  </p><p>“Oh,” A voice sounded from the door, and Kaladin glanced over.  </p><p>It was Jakamav, entering the bathroom. Kaladin nodded as a greeting, Jakamav returned the gesture. He went to the sink and washed his hands too, standing stiffly beside Kaladin.  </p><p>“Adolin’s in the practice room, if you’re looking for him,” Jakamav said. “He always stays there overtime.  </p><p>“I know, I was with him,” Kaladin said, staying stoic.  </p><p>Jakamav nodded, then raised his face towards Kaladin as he dried his hands. “Is it fun, being his boyfriend?”  </p><p>Kaladin narrowed his eyes towards the guy, giving him no satisfaction for an answer. He just wanted what was personal to stay personal, why was Adolin’s dance partner nosy about their personal life?  </p><p>“Quit glaring at me like that,” Jakamav smirked. “It’s just a question. Congratulations and all.”  </p><p>“Thanks,” Kaladin said. He marched at the door, wanting to get away from the awkward situation. He simply didn’t like the guy.  </p><p>“A word of advice,” Jakamav said, addressing him before Kaladin walked out. Kaladin rolled his eyes, then politely turned to meet the guy’s eye. “Don’t get too attached. Adolin runs through people quickly.”  </p><p>“What the fuck?” Kaladin couldn’t help himself. “That’s no way of talking about him like that.” </p><p>“I’m telling you this because I'm his ex,” Jakamav faced him, shrugging. “Well, one of his <em> exes </em>. I just thought I should tell you before you get your heart broken.” </p><p>Kaladin felt a rush of cold sweat go through him. “You...”  </p><p>“Listen,” Jakamav put up both his hands. “I’m not planning to steal him back or whatever you might be thinking. I’m just saying, he’s a playboy. You’ve barely known him, so I thought I'd offer a heads up.” </p><p>But Adolin loved him. He said it. Kaladin held his head. “So what if he dated before? You think I'd get jealous because you were his ex?” </p><p>Jakamav laughed, an annoyance to Kaladin’s mood right now. “Before you came, Adolin was about to date Shallan. He was raving about her the same way he’s raving about you. He’s like that, Adolin. He falls in love quickly and easily. I take pity on you because you’re all heart eyes over him, and... listen, you’re not as special as he made you think.”  </p><p>Nausea rose up his throat. Kaladin was getting uncomfortable.  </p><p>“You might be tall and handsome,” Jakamav continued on. “But you’re just not Adolin’s type, you know? He likes flashy and excited and out in the world type of people. You might be nothing but a fling to him, a try for a change.” He walked up to Kaladin, then brushed by him swiftly out of the bathroom. “Well, good luck anyways though.” </p><p>Kaladin stood frozen in his spot.  </p><p>His best relationship was going to wound up being nothing but a fling? </p><p>Yeah, this <em> had been </em>too easy for it to be true. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>HEY! I'm not dead :) I think of this fic day and night and always hope to write the best for it! This past month has been hectic with news for me but i'll try to update the next chapter next week or the week after. I hope you've enjoyed this one, because i'm pretty proud of it. </p><p>Please leave a comment :) </p><p>Journey before Destination &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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